by Sara Mcgrath

Created on: September 18, 2009

An unschooling atmosphere is one of unconditional support. An unschooling parent's responsibility, then, is not to teach, but to help the child learn. This help comes first in the forms of willingness and availability, and thereafter in the multitude of ways and things a parent can provide in support of the child's pursuit of knowledge and experience.

Unschooling parents respect and celebrate the variety of ways children

learn naturally. They trust that children want to learn and, thus, have no need of coercion masquerading as encouragement, incentive, or any other external motivation. An unschooling atmosphere is free of coercion in its many guises.

Coercion is out of accord with unschooling philosophy. Children naturally rebel against coercive teaching. Coercion disrespects the child and may harm the child's self-confidence. In other words, coercion disregards the child's feelings and needs. In effect, coercion is counter productive.

Unschoolers typically avoid the word "teach," because of its association with coercive teaching methods. Some unschoolers do use the word "teach" translation: "help learn" with a noncoercive slant to the meaning. Unschoolers can boycott the word "teach" or they can reclaim it for their own uses.

Children Want to Learn Useful Skills

As social creatures, children never require coercion (i.e., threats, pressure, material incentives) to inspire them to want to fit in. They naturally want to connect and join in community. They want to contribute and play an important role. They want to learn useful skills (reading, writing, math, scientific observation, etc.), because they need those tools to navigate the world. If those skills were not useful, they would not need them.

Unschooling parents trust that their children will seek out useful skills when they need them. However, this is not to say that unschooling parents necessarily wait for their children to request information or guidance regarding a particular skill. An observant parent may offer help or new information at any time. New unschooling parents may hesitate to initiate conversations or activities which resemble teaching. However, unschooling philosophy fully supports any interaction with children in which the children are interested and receptive.

Outwardly, this may look like a homeschool curriculum or lap book, for example, but the activity will be lacking any coercive or mandatory element. As long as children are on board, unschooling parents will share with them all that they know and help them find the answers to any questions for which they do not have ready answers. If they already knew all the answers, they would miss out on many mystery solving and treasure seeking adventures. Unschooling is a lifestyle that includes all family members.

People of all ages are born naturally social. Part of this nature is the desire to belong and contribute to communities. People find their places in community by learning all that they can about the people and the world around them. If unschooling parents remain available to their children, spend a lot of time with them, and have fun together, the children will feel safe and confident enough to step out into the world to learn even more.

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