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Standing in front of the alter on the day I got married, I had never thought that one day I would find myself straying from the pact that I had formed with god. No person in their right mind gets married with the intent of straying. So, how 8 years later, did I allow this to happen.

A string of events caused me to turn from my marriage, the first being lack of honesty, when your husband constantly lies to you, you have a hard time getting close to him because it doesn't matter what conversation you have with him, eventually your not going to believe a word that comes from his mouth.

A woman needs to feel secure in her marriage, we need to feel like our husband will be like the calvary, ready to rescue us out of what ever messes we find ourselves in. If we loose our sense of security, its like being in a canoe without a paddle, rushing into white water rapids. We do have the blessed brains to escape stupidity, but face it, sometimes we do things, and then wonder why later. My main need from my husband was to be my provider, he has a good job, as do I. When he was laid off, and I struggled to pay the bills while he sat at home, my opinion of him changed, his lack of interest to find another source of income disturbed me, talking with him about my fears was to no avail, and only led me to be pushed further away.

The way a husband approaches intimacy can also lead to marital distress. We need to feel like we are the most beautiful person in the world to our husbands, and when it comes to intimacy, when he shows no real affection and seems more like he's worried about his satisfaction then yours, we feel used, unfulfilled and it goes from something that should be beautiful to just another action. This is dangerous to the marriage, as we start to seek real affection, the passion that was once there in the beginning of the relationship, and that's usually found in a new relationship.

The way that our husbands speak to us is another factor that drives us away, some men seem to think that if the finances are being taken care of, the bills are paid, food in the fridge, that we are deserving to be spoken to as if we were below them, husbands and wives are to be on an equal page, to love and respect each other equally, not degrading, thinking the other is of less importance or intelligence, if a man constantly degrades or badgers his wife, making her feel low, shes going to be attracted to a man that makes her feel better about herself.

Both husband and wives are equally guilty of pushing their partners into the arms of another, it is possible for a man to make his wife cheat, if they are stuck in a cycle where the behavior is ongoing, and there is no counseling or a desire to change. Marriage is work, and if you don't work it right, sadly sometimes someone else will.

Learn more about this author, Kristen Rice.
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