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Never! I mean, NEVER say what you think. Let me share with you, the proper way to answer. It works. I promise.

You have to crawl outside of yourself and into her mind, to answer this question. Here's what it sounds like:

"Hon. You know I'm blind, when it comes to you. I look at you through loving eyes and I can't see what it is you see, when looking in the mirror. So this is a hard one for me. I have to find some way to look at you like a stranger, before I can answer that. To me, you're beautiful all the time.

Now, the only way I can come even close to giving you an unbiased opinion, is to look at you the way you do. I love you and I know what would embarrass you, so that's all I can come up with - What would embarrass you. So please, don't take offense, if I say something you don't want to hear. I'm not talking from my point of view, I'm trying to see things from your point of view.

I mean, it's like if you have something between your teeth. I tell you because I love you and don't want you to discover it later and hate me for not telling you. I don't tell you because it offends me. "

Then and only then, take a good hard look. I mean, really! For her sake. Have her turn around. Cock your head a little. Act like you care!

Then you can say something like," OK. Everything looks great except one area. That skirt cups around your belly. You can't see it in the mirror but looking at you the way others will, is a whole other matter. You know I love you and don't care but I know you care and would be embarrassed if you knew what others could see. So, I'm telling you, in all truthfulness, except for that section of the skirt, it looks great."

You see, where guys go all wrong is not understanding that his woman wants to know he's on her side. She doesn't need your criticism. She needs your understanding and love. She wants to know that when she steps out that door, other people are not going to look at her and be thinking, "Why couldn't her husband tell her what that looks like?"

That's it. That's what it's all about. You approach her in this way and she'll trust your opinion for the rest of her life and will continuously come to you for that final approval. She will also feel safe, when she steps out the door.

Nothing will endear you to your wife, more than letting her know you're on her side.

Learn more about this author, Judy Sims.
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