by Lynde Navarro

Created on: September 18, 2009

Tall, dark, handsome, God-fearing, understanding, responsible, etc... These are some of the traits I commonly heard and read as qualifications in finding a lifetime partner. The first three are more of the physical attributes. They can easily be determined in the elimination process and the rest are innate and are something to be discovered.

Let us talk about the first three. BEAUTY or LOOKS! Is it a condition sine qua non? Maybe yes and maybe not. It depends on one's retinal appreciation and one's view and application of the term. It may be construed in two ways, inner beauty and superficial beauty. But seriously speaking, looks may not be everything but looks are something. It is the basic come-on, the first impression. This is always considered in picking up one's option in a line up of applicants. You can take it this way: If we are going to stare at one's face for the rest of our lives, it should be a face worth staring at. Nobody wants to come home at the end of a tiresome and stressful day to look at a face that only a mother could love. Agree?

But if you are wise and smart, come to think of this: Ugliness doesn't only pertain to the physical attributes but to one's character as well. Granting he doesn't look like a beast but he acts like one, would you dare go home after a tiresome and stressful day and expect yourself thrown all over your place by a chauvinist good looking Adonis? Treating women with utter disrespect is a monstrous and horrible act which cannot be justified by one's extreme charm and overwhelming sex appeal. Do not be deceived by what you see. But good looks plus the traits you wish for a man equals the man of your dreams. So what are you waiting for? Grab the opportunity! Superficial ugliness plus bestial character? Perhaps one deadly combo, I don't think there's a point to explain this any further. Just run!

For me, compatibility is a standard test in choosing a life partner. But the intricacies of compatibility are difficult to put down in words. They grow and evolve as people get to know each other under a variety of circumstances. Looks. Girl, that is just a first impression and first impression doesn't always last especially in looking for a serious and lasting relationship. Discover and consider what are behind those looks. Let me quote this beautiful passage from my favorite book, Little Prince: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. And let me add. What is essential is not always pleasing to the EYE.

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