by Victorious Heart

Created on: September 17, 2009   Last Updated: September 24, 2009

Breaking the silence - Why abuse has a direct impact on a persons self esteem

I feel it is important to mention that both men and women can be victims of abuse, though typically in relationships, more often than not the woman is the victim with the man being the abuser. To make things easier in writing this article I will refer to the victim/ survivor of abuse as female, with the abuser being male.

Self esteem is defined as the following:

'Self-esteem is the emotion or feeling a person has with regard to his/her self worth which is composed of his/her self-competence and self-respect. It is the limiting factor on a person's performance. Simply said, a person's performance will not exceed his/her self-esteem. This is evident from 'Maslow's hierarchy' of human needs in that self-esteem needs must be fulfilled before the need for self-actualization (performance) can be addressed.'

Taken from: Self-esteem: The Key to High Performance

http://www.performance-unlimited.com/demain.htm

Abuse is defined as the following:

Abuse is a pattern of behavior in which physical violence and/or emotional coercion is used to gain or maintain power or control in a relationship. A single incident of assault also constitutes abuse. Taken from 2006, University of Toronto.

What is your level of self-esteem? Your level of self-esteem is how you see yourself and what you believe about yourself and your capabilities. If you have poor self-esteem you believe that you are not worthy of love, happiness or respect. You believe that you do not deserve anything good in your life. You believe that you do not deserve to take up space, or that you just don't matter. If you have good or high self-esteem you believe that you deserve to take up space. You believe that you deserve good things and you know you that you are worthy of love, happiness and respect. You know that you matter and you feel it and believe it deep down in your soul.

Survivors of abuse struggle with their level of self esteem which is a direct result of the abuse that they have suffered. There are many forms of abuse with some being much harder to detect such as verbal and emotional abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse is very damaging to the survivor (sometimes more damaging than physical abuse) as the abuser uses this kind of abuse on a regular basis to break the survivor down, convincing her that she is to blame for his abuse and that she is totally worthless. Other forms of abuse (Both childhood abuse/ intimate relationships)

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