by Daniel Mcginley

Created on: September 16, 2009   Last Updated: September 17, 2009

Complete loss of balance often results in a painful crash, so falling into anything can be intimidating, with unknown results. A deep tiger pit full if vertical spikes is much worse than, say, a soft bed of rose petals. The trip down is scary stuff, and love can become spikes or petals in less time than you can say engaged.

During your descent, reality can become clouded by conflicting sensations, causing undo panic. If this is your very first fall, it's hard to find a reference point or anything to grasp, and head over heels becomes more than just an overused expression. You're twirling out of control, and blood often rushes where angels fear to tread.

Symptoms vary greatly, from a huge stack of fresh phone bills, to visibly shaking at the odor of a certain perfume or cologne.

"Oh no!" a friend screamed once, on a busy city sidewalk. "There's the same bus Pamela used to take, back when we were dating!"

"How long ago was that?" I asked, envisioning his old flame on that bus right now, checking him out.

He shrugged, coming back to earth. "Couple of years ago, or like . . . almost ten now, I guess. Or maybe twelve."

I'll always remember the very first time I fell head over heels, and can never drink amaretto again (her favorite.)

Falling in love for the first time can be a lightening fast descent, causing concern if the other party is a little less passionate about your advances, which raises the intimidation factor for both parties.

"How do you know you really love me?" asked the second woman I fell for, after proclaiming my undying love after about - oh - one week of dating.

A divorced mother who was a bit older, she wasn't quite in cougar range yet, but definitely light years ahead in several key categories.

The tone of her voice sent warning flags within sight of my love-blinded eyes, and a few days later it was over, after catching her in the arms of another man, when she was supposed to be at home with the flu.

Lessons learned, adding to the intimidation factor next time around.

"You've got to be friends before anything else," is some of the best advice I've ever heard, but not always possible during a sudden "fall". There's a broad range of emotions between strong passion and common interests, with no set rules to follow, and tricky turns at every corner. The difference between beer goggles, a calculated series of meetings, dating services, school friends or dumb luck is vast and varied, but any one of those situations can lead to falling in love.

"How do you know you really love me?" was the questioned reply after only a very short period of dating, but can also be used after fifty years of marriage. Like a song you love right away, love can fade with familiarity, and send people hunting for other channels over time.

All these factors contribute to a very intimidating environment, which should also lead to awareness and education. For any overly confident players daring to take love lightly, I only hope you come up smelling like roses from a wonderful landing, instead of looking like Swiss cheese.

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