by Joyce M. George-Knight

Created on: September 16, 2009

Funerals are the last place where you expect to laugh. When my husband died, my children and I unanimously agreed that he would want people to laugh at his wake, for he was known for always having a joke to tell. Whether it was a management meeting or a church volunteers' meeting, he was armed with a joke or two to share. Remembering him with humor was like having an abundance of flowers for a deceased florist owner. It simply went together.

We set up a video to play after people paid their respects. The video was a self-made by my husband of him mouthing the words and pretending to play a guitar along with a song whereby the man sings about his wife's mother, who had just left their home after a visit. His hair was disheveled and his shirt was untucked. There was no doubt that the singer delighted in bidding his mother-in-law a farewell. An infectious laugh dared anybody to keep a straight face. My husband's acting was superb. The younger generation of viewers were in stitches, while the older men and women weren't quite so sure it was respectful. In our hearts, we knew it suited my husband perfectly and he would be thrilled.

Following the funeral, when we were back at home, the jokes and stories continued. We were laughing until tears were running down our faces and a couple of individuals barely made it to the rest room in time. Even the fact that my husband's electric keyboard, that we took to accompany the singers, didn't work at the church. However, it worked just fine at home before and after the service. When other electronic equipment was plugged into the same church outlet, they worked. The joke was on us. We had no doubt it was my husband's way of letting us know he was there spiritually with his sense of humor.

Humor did, indeed, help all of us with the stress and shock of my husband's death. It helped us to breathe instead of hyperventilating. As our minds were attempting to comprehend what had occurred so unexpectedly, our bodies reacted to the humor with tears that we would have otherwise held inside. Laughter's known to have an effect on the immune system, prevents depression and stimulates appetites. Yes, we made the best decision in celebrating my husband's life with the same laughter that he shared during his years with us. Humor is medicine that we can take in any dose we so choose and as frequently as we want to enjoy it.

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