by Jared Lorance

Created on: September 16, 2009

Falling in love is intimidating from the beginning. From the first flirtatious meeting to the first kiss. It is only human to be intimidated; even the best athletes in the world go out onto the field nervous. The difference is that they have confidence and will power. They possess the strength to put themselves out there and risk defeat. When breaking down the reasons humans feel intimidated by falling in love. It is also key to remember that many of the same fears of love are the same as many other decisions in life.

The first fear when falling in love is criticism and rejection. Much like applying for a job or joining a new circle of friends; dating causes you to put yourself out there. It can seem reasonable to think, "If I don't try to be liked, then I can't be disliked." And every book you will ever read on success will tell you that this mind set is wrong. However, it is important to remember that this is a fear that is there for a good reason. In the days of our ancestors of the Stone Age picking the wrong female could end your life. Today people risk getting your heart broken or worse just flat out rejected. Whoever said, "It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all," was right. Though it may be hard to swallow sometimes you are going to get hurt, most likely many times. But the good news is there is always someone else. When fear of rejection starts to creep in just think of love like a game. You all have heard it before. And when you lose remember you can always hit that reset button and try again. The root of the solution to this problem is confidence. Boost your ego if you feel that you are the best man or woman you can be then it is them who have truly missed out on a great opportunity. Not you.

The second fear we often have when falling in love is change. Humans are creatures of habit. But the saying doesn't go, "You can't teach an old human, old tricks." Part of what makes us unique and beautiful as a race is our capacity to change. If you are not willing to compromise and change a little bit of who you are to be with the person you desire then they will have no reason to do the same for you. Relationships are about giving and taking. Sure its easy to change when there is no stake, but when the chips are down do you really have what it takes to be in a relationship. Of coarse, being fake is never the answer. If you do not want to sacrifice the time and energy a relationship brings then you should not be looking for one. The solution to this problem is desire. Desire is always the solution to making yourself change. If you do not truly desire to give everything it takes to succeed in a relationship then you are doomed to failure.

So remember when you start to feel intimidated about falling in love, you have nothing to lose. If you are ready to go out and take a relationship to the next level then you can be successful. Success comes to those who keep trying, the people in life who will not take no for an answer. Who will put them self up for rejection time after time because they know that with failure comes knowledge, and with knowledge the power to change and become successful at conquering intimidation. Much like the jitters of a first kiss can be rewarded by jumping in, so can be the jitters of falling in love.

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