by Kamryn Adams

Created on: September 16, 2009   Last Updated: September 23, 2009

They say young people fall in love over and over again. This is certainly true. The feeling of spring blossoms in the hearts of young people all year long. However, those feelings of butterflies and fairytales are not enough to sustain a healthy marriage over a lifetime. Marriage takes quite a bit of maturity and sacrifice. You need coping skills, problem solving skills, and great self-awareness to maintain a healthy marriage. These are things that develop over time as you live and learn. Therefore, it is most advantageous to marry a bit later in life.

There are several advantages to getting married later in life that will result in a lasting and more fulfilling journey with your spouse. The first of those advantages is merely due to your chronological age. Notwithstanding a few exceptions, most people mature with age and are able to understand themselves better with time. As a young person in your twenties, you really have no concept of who you are, what you believe, or what kinds of things will shape your life. Sure, may have a good concept of who you are at the present time, but until you've lived a little, experienced some hardships, triumphs, and developed dreams of your own, you are not a final product. Waiting until you have a good understanding of yourself before you marry improves your chances of choosing a mate that is most compatible with you.

There are financial advantages to getting married later in life, as well. You have time to build up your savings and retirement, pay down college debt, and establish a strong credit history. This is beneficial when you come together in marriage and increases your power to build additional wealth. Money is one of the major stressors in a marriage and getting married later, when you have some financial stability, limits those stressors.

Getting married later in life also gives you some perspective on what you can tolerate. The older you are the more set you are in certain behaviors, likes and dislikes. If you are fairly set on what you can tolerate, you are less likely to make erroneous concessions just to be in a relationship. So many young people marry with the idea that they will change their mate. When the behavior doesn't change, they find themselves out of patience and on their way to divorce court.

A huge advantage to marrying after some time on your own is that you limit the influence of extended family in your marriage. So much of the early years of marriage are often influenced by parents and siblings getting involved in your marital discourse. If you are older when you marry, your parents are less inclined to feel the need to "look after you". You've been weaned, in a sense, and are free to establish your marriage on your terms without the influence and advice of well-meaning family members.

Love is a beautiful experience to enjoy over and over again. But, leave marriage to those who are mature enough to understand it and prepare for the work involved.

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