by Phyllis Grimes

Created on: September 16, 2009

I am so blessed to be able to claim that I do have real friends. Real friends are those people who willingly give me their love, no matter the choices I make or the geographical distance between us. They are those rare people who want to be intimately involved in all of the details of my life, my thoughts and dreams, as well as my heartaches. In turn, they open their lives up to welcome me in, as well.

A real friend to me is one who helps me to become a better person. Although my real friend loves and accepts me exactly the way I am, if there is a part of my life that needs to change, my friend will tell me the truth. It is my responsibility to accept the wisdom my friend shares, but even if I refuse to, my friend will keep right on loving me, believing that people or circumstances should never be forced. My real friend listens to me without interrupting when I am upset or angry. She will even agree that I am completely justified in my emotions and opinions, but then she will encourage me to be a bigger person. This may mean that I should move on, control the factors that I can and let the others so, or to reach out with forgiveness to the person who hurt me. When I am about to act rashly because I am upset, she gently reminds me that it is never a good idea for people to make an important decision when they are emotional. A gentle suggestion is issued that I wait just one day or at least until I am calm. So, my real friend values and respects me, but is unafraid to help me change or to see the situation in a different light. She does this to protect me from making choices that will hurt me or prevent me from growing.

A real friend makes me feel special with her thoughtful ways. She often calls or visits for no reason at all other than just to talk with me, and I know that she is really listening. For example, she heard me mention that I hadn't had any chocolate mint ice cream in awhile, so she unexpectedly brought over a pint to share a couple of days later. Or, she remembered the date of my doctor's appointment and telephoned that evening to ask how it went. She knew I was planning to shop at a certain store and brought some coupons over that she found, hoping that I could use them. These small gestures let me know that she cares and wants to actively be a part of my life.

A real friend helps me to enjoy life, our friendship and absolutely insists that laughter has to be part of our time together. When I am with my real friend, she makes me laugh so hard that it makes my stomach feel like I've done abdominal crunches. Her positive attitude and smile are contagious. My happiness turns into joy when I share my experiences with her. And my burdens do not seem half as heavy because she willingly shares the load. I cannot help to leave my bad attitude or mood behind and follow her example.

A real friend prays for and with me, knowing that this is the single most important way to show her love for me. To call on the Creator of this universe to intervene on my behalf is the most wonderful action she could ever take for me. And I am so thankful to have a real friend to be by my side on this journey through life. My goal is that I can be a real friend, too.

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