by Christine Holleyman

Created on: September 16, 2009

I was a puppet -
a puppet on a string.
When the puppeteer moved the string,
I went;
and when the puppeteer would not move the string,
I went not.
All my movements were subject to the puppeteer,
and when he would not pull the string,
I moved not;
and when he did pull the string,
I then moved.
All the while, I thought I was pulling my own strings.
And so I couldn't understand why

I did that which I would not,
and did not that which I would.

When I discovered the puppeteer
and learned what manner of puppeteer he was
I cut the strings he was holding.
I severed that puppeteer from me,
and by doing so, I killed him -
I destroyed him.
Without those strings connecting him to me,
he cannot exist.
When I cut those strings,
he ceased to exist,
and I was free from him -
free from him at long last!

But I was not left helplessly dangling
by those severed strings,
for another Puppeteer
immediately took hold of them.
This new Puppeteer
is nothing like the old one;
He is the exact opposite of the old.
This new Puppeteer
now moves me where I would;
and where I would not,
he moves me not.
This new Puppeteer
manipulates my every movement,
guiding my every step,
moving me exactly,
with no deviation,
toward the place where I want to be.

I am now a doormat.
I have not always been a doormat.
I was once very adamant
about not letting anyone step on me
or walk all over me.
I had very strong ideas
about standing up for my rights,
and I was not going to let anyone
take any of my rights from me;
I would fight them
before I would let them do that!
Many times I struck back in anger -
when I had been struck.
Whenever the poisonous barbs
from the tongue of another pierced me,
my tongue would return those barbs to him -
adding more to them.

But I am now a doormat -
and very happy to be a doormat.
I am a doormat -
as Moses was -
as Jesus was -
the meekest person in the whole earth.
I will let others walk upon me;
I will not strike back,
for I know, if I should strike back,
I would be striking my own self.
I would again become entangled
in the spokes of that vicious wheel,
the wheel that would turn
until it had returned me
that which I had given to another.

I thank my new Puppeteer every day
for changing me into a doormat,
and I pray to Him every day
that He will continue to help me remain one -
until I'm no longer in this world.

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