by Danie Russell

Created on: September 16, 2009   Last Updated: February 26, 2011

Dear Saint Nick,

 Seeing as how you know all, I'm sure you already know who I am.
I'm writing this to inform you, that I sent my Christmas list
in early this year; I wanted to be sure you had plenty of time
to make it all.

 But oh, boy was I surprised, when I awoke Christmas morning to
find puke green socks, and a pair of granny underwear. That was

definitely not what I had on my list, if I wanted those things,
I would have just gone shopping with my mom.

 Now, I do know that I have done a few naughty things here and
there, what kid hasn't? But Santa really, if I could explain
you'd see it was just all a big misunderstanding.

 First off I know I haven't been eating all my vegetables,but
Santa it doesn't look like you eat many either. Therefore if
you don't, then I shouldn't be held responsible for not eating
mine.
 
 Second I know it may have seemed like I threw that mud pie on
Bobbie Jo, but really, I just tripped and it happened to land
on her, that's just my clumsy nature and I can't be held
responsible for that either.
 
 Third, the house fire wasn't my fault. How was I supposed to
know toilet paper was so flammable, I tried to flush it which
has to count for something.

 Fourth I had nothing to do with my skates being left on the
stairs and my brother breaking his arm. I put it away but I'm
pretty sure the tooth fairy framed me. She's mad about a lack
of lost teeth, there's no way that I can be responsible for that.
 
 Fifth I never tried to hit Mr. Jingles with those rocks; he just
kept running in front of them. An animal’s misdirection is not my
fault; I can't help what he does.

 So as you can see Santa, though it may have looked like I did
those things, I did not. Being a smart man you can see it's not
my fault, therefore I believe I should have received my requested
presents and not the puke green socks and granny panties that I so
hope to lose...

 I know that you're a good and fair man, so I'm sure you're just
In knots over this and pacing the floor wondering, how you could
ever make this up.

 To ease your worry over it, I'll just tell you what can be done.
Next Christmas you can just bring me what's on the new list,
(Which I've enclosed, so you'd have it in advance.) and what's
on my old list. We'll simply call it even, and you'll still be my
favorite jolly fat man.

Sincerely,
Little Miss. Understood

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