Kyle knew she'd be there. She always was. Of course her fiery red head would be virtually impossible to miss anywhere even from the top of the skyscraper whose construction he was currently supervising. But now that the trees were all leafed out spotting her from this vantage point was not so easy anymore. He, however, was certain she would be there although he wasn't positive she would want to talk to him today. Their last conversation had been a heated one.
So it was with some trepidation he crossed the street to the park, leaving his hectic work day behind for a precious hour, his favorite Tim Horton's coffee in one hand and his lunch in the other. He made a bee-line to the usual place, the picnic table just under a pink horsechestnut tree. Not that he knew a chestnut tree from a maple. Lucky for him Lisa did and explained to him with obvious adoration how her husband always sneezed his head off when they were in bloom.
"Good thing he's not here then, huh?" Kyle had said looking up at the huge and highly fragrant flowers hanging off the pretty tree. He had to admit he never noticed them before. That was three months ago. He couldn't believe it only had been that long since they'd met. It felt as if they'd known each other for decades.
Lisa always spoke of her husband Jason. That was why Kyle felt utterly safe spending his lunch time talking to her. She was married and completely off limits just as she should be if he were to be spending all this time with a woman not his wife. It rid him of useless guilt. He had even told Peggy about her just to make sure nothing got back to her that could make trouble for him. Not that it would, not even if there was something to it. The guys on his crew kept their thoughts to themselves for their own sakes. Honor among thieves is what they called it. Good thing because those guys were usually up to no good.
Kyle had just passed between the swings and the elaborate multi-level jungle gym when he saw Lisa's curly carrot-top just visible from behind a book. Her nose was usually stuck in a book. It was one a many things they had in common and the one that particularly resounded with him. Of course he usually had a problem with her choice of authors.
"D.H. Lawrence? What am I gonna do with her?" he muttered to himself. He made a mental note to bring Hemingway's "Snows of Kilimanjaro" from his collection for her. Then she'd know what a true masterful storyteller was.
"Hello, Lisa," he said, settling himself across from her.
He noticed she didn't even lower the book when she said a noncommital, "Hmm." He suppressed a grin. She was obviously still a bit ticked off.
"How was your weekend?" he said casually as he opened his cooler, pulled out a bag of chips and ripped open the package.
"Wonderful," she mumbled still not deeming him worthy of a glance.
He wanted to laugh but kept it in. Girls were just so funny. They ask you a question and then when you answer truthfully they get all pissed off at you. In his estimation if you don't want to be told your butt is too big in those jeans then you shouldn't ask. Not that it was even remotely that sort of thing they had quarreled about. He was pretty darn sure her butt was perfect in her jeans. Not that he had looked! Not on purpose anyway. He was a guy though and guys look no matter what. Jason would understand, he was certain.
Perhaps quarrel was not the right word. They had been talking about polygamy of all things. He had told her no man in his right mind wouldn't want more than one wife if given the chance and if he could get away with it. It started out easy enough, the conversation, but after a bit it was more of a shouting match, at least on her part.
He had been very courteous, he thought, honest and logical, too and hadn't raised his voice at all. She on the other hand had been all emotion, very loud emotion. He was pretty sure the guys eating their own lunch across the street had heard most of it. But who can get girls to listen when they get all emotional?
"So, what's your point?" she asked, annoyed.
"My point is any man that tells you otherwise is lying to you," Kyle insisted. "It's in our genetic makeup to want and seek out multiple partners, to go forth and multiply. It's the best way to ensure a good robust gene pool. It's all nature."
"Right, because what the world of genetics really needs is stupid, horny, drunk college boys at spring break and middle aged men trying to bring back an ill spent youth and who should know better multiplying."
He laughed. "Listen, you asked and I told you. It's just the way we're made."
"So, what you're saying is one woman is just never enough for any of you?" Lisa asked her blue eyes mere slits in her face.
"Enough for what?" Kyle countered carelessly. "Men always want more sex than women so..."
"Right, cuz that's all you guys ever think about. Sex. Forgive me. I wasn't thinking." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "You're worse than Jason. At least he said he would only want another wife if she didn't want any more kids."
"He only said that because you already have four kids. It would be different if each wife only got one kid. It would be fair."
"Fair?" Lisa shrieked making a face as if she were tasting mud pies made with real Mississippi River mud. "For whom I wonder? Oh wait, let me answer that. You men are allowed as many children as you have wives to produce them while women are only allowed one each. Hmm.... sounds real fair."
"Well, if you really wanted more you could. Some women don't want any kids at all so it evens out. You could negotiate," he said with a careless shrug.
"Oh, I'll negotiate all right. For the beheading of all men and I won't say which head I mean," she said through clenched teeth.
He winced and involuntarily pressed his knees together as if fearful she would really do as she said. He gulped then tried to smooth things over by being funny. "You know it would be okay if you gals just learned to share. I mean, you do know that there are more women than men in the world, don't you? And if I had 3 or 4 wives I would treat them all the same. I would love them all equally. They should all be the same age, too, so there won't be any jealousy between them like happens in real life."
She stared at him aghast. "Please, do tell, oh Wise One. How would you handle your harem?" she muttered her voice dripping sarcasm.
"Look, a guy gets some young hottie younger than his wife because it's nature calling him to reproduce regardless of whether he really wants to. He can't help it. It's instinct. But the wife she gets all bent out of shape about it because she feels it's all because of her own age when it isn't that at all. There are plenty of women in their forties and fifties that are great, beautiful and...."
"And you want to bop the ugly ones too. Yeah, Billy Crystal explained all that to Meg Ryan once. I don't need to hear it from you," she said waving a dismissive hand at him.
He could almost hear her teeth grinding as he stared at her in confusion. In truth he had not a clue what she was talking about but as she was so good with the non sequiturs he would have to let her explain it.
She rolled her eyes to the sky. "The movie?"
He frowned in concentration thinking of any and all films in which he saw Meg Ryan. "Sleepless in Seattle?"
"That was Tom Hanks, idiot," Lisa growled.
"You Got Mail?"
"Tom Hanks again. When Harry Met Sally," she said exasperated. "He was telling her that men want to screw anybody, even the ugly ones."
He frowned a little then shook his head. He still didn't get her point. "Anyway. Seeking younger women is simply the pull of nature to keep reproducing when your wife's...."
"Washed up, dried up, useless, barren and too old," Lisa interjected scornfully.
His mouth fell open. "Not exactly as I would put it. Out of her child-bearing years,"he replied in a gentle, dignified voice.
"Nature is wonderful until men get a hold of it. Well, that explains one thing perfectly," she said getting up, putting her garbage into the can behind her, gathering her book and purse with undo force and readying to leave.
"What's that?" he asked frowning.
"Why women turn to lesbianism in their later years. I'm seriously considering joining them," she said stalking off, her nose up in the air. She never looked back though she must have heard him laughing his head off.
Now it was a good long four day weekend later and surely she had calmed down ever-so-slightly, he thought as he stared at the top of her gleaming head. Silence ensued unbearably, however, and not being one to take the cold shoulder too well, he gave in first.
"I went camping with my boys. Went Kayaking for the first time. Great fun. Thanks for asking," he said trying to sound bright and cheery before taking a long swig from his coffee.
"I told Jason I want a divorce,"she said in a totally bored voice. But no sooner had the words left her month than she shrieked. "Eewww!"
He had spit out his coffee all over her book. "You did what?"he shouted.
"Yuck! How the heck am I gonna get this off here? I hate the smell of coffee." She made a hideous face as she grabbed a napkin from beside her water bottle and started to mop up the mess. "Guess that's what a dust jacket is for, in case some idiot spews coffee at you for no good reason. Why can't you drink water like the rest of the civilized world?"
"I'll buy you a new book," he said tersely, a crease between his brows as he stared at her. Divorce? He never saw that coming and she certainly didn't look like someone who looked at all upset about an upcoming divorce.
"Don't bother. This guy is highly over rated as far as I'm concerned," she said pulling off the ruined dust jacket and throwing it into the garbage can behind her. "I should stick with Jane Austen and Henry Fielding. I have no problem with their run-on sentences but this guy? What the hell is his point anyway?"
"What happened?" Kyle asked, his lunch totally forgotten.
"Well, that's just it I don't really know. "Rainbow" is about a family that...."
"Not the book!" Kyle shouted angrily. " Jason, what happened with Jason?"
"Jason never reads anything other than the sports page. I told you that," she explained with no concern whatsoever.
He would have laughed if she weren't so infuriating. "Lisa, why did you ask Jason for a divorce?"
"I didn't ask for one. I told him I wanted one. There's a difference you know," she replied with a lofty tilt of her head.
This went right over his head. He could not make heads nor tails out of that sort of "logic" so he thought it best to ignore it. He stared at her as she took a bite from her bagel, honey wheat with strawberry cream cheese. She always got the exact same thing for lunch. He stared at her as she licked the cream off her fingers while pushing her hair out of her eyes with her other hand. At that moment with her neon bright hair blowing about wild and unrestrained she looked like a cross between a grown up Shirley Temple and a defiant little kid who looked intent on sticking her fork into a light socket just to see what would happen. He had the simultaneous urge to spank her and pat her head telling her what a cutie she is.
"Does this have anything to do with our discussion of last week?" he asked with evident caution in his voice.
"Of course," she replied.
He groaned. That was not what he wanted to hear. "You're not serious, Lisa. We were just talking. It was nothing to get all bent out of shape about. Nothing to get divorced over anyway. Jason's not really going to get another wife."
"I'm not bent out of shape," she said, indignant. "I thought things over and I finally got to see it through your eyes or rather through the eyes of the male animal. That is what you said you are, isn't it? Nothing better than monkeys and apes, as I recall."
"Uh....sort of, yeah. I said it was our natural inclination to have multiple partners. It's in our genes."
"And in your jeans. Yeah, I know," she added with a distasteful look. She waved a dismissive hand. "Same difference. The point is I agree and that's why I want a divorce but you know what that idiot said to me?"
He truly had no idea and even if he did he wasn't wise enough not to say it. "Uh... no?"
"Fly on the wall, were you?" she said narrowing her eyes at him. "He said I can't have one and then he kissed me. I'm sure he wanted to do some headboard banging too, his words not mine, but I had to get the kids up and ready for day camp."
"Whoa! Wait a minute! You ask for a divorce..."
"Said I wanted one. Bit slow on the uptake, aren't you?" she said crossly.
"Whatever! You drop this divorce bombshell and all he can say is let's get busy?" Kyle said utterly incredulous.
"Well, it may have been my fault him not taking it seriously. I was cuddled up to him about a half hour before the alarm was set to go off and I was stroking...." She stopped here, cleared her throat and gave him a furtive look. "You don't need to know that part.... I told him I want a divorce." She then picked up her bagel and took a delicate bite.
He gaped at her. "But why? Why did you ask..."
"Said I wanted."
"Okay, I give up. What the hell's the difference?"he asked now getting impatient.
She sighed and shook her head. "How does Peggy put up with you?" was all the reply he got.
He made a growling sound in his throat but refrained from shouting, just barely. "Why did you say you want a divorce? You always say you two get along fine, great even and you obviously did since you were ... "cuddled up". What happened?"
She put down her bagel and frowned. "I realized you were right," she said somewhat reluctantly.
Kyle savored that for a minute. Never had he heard that from a woman. Pity it wasn't from his own wife but this would have to do. He knew it wasn't likely he'd ever hear such a wonderful thing again even if he lived to be a thousand.
"About what exactly?" he asked curiosity getting the better of him.
"You really are a bit slow, aren't you? Never noticed that before," she said and took another bite of her bagel.
It was agony waiting for her to chew, swallow and take a sip of her water. But wait he did. He took out his own sandwich and took a huge bite and was about to take another when she at last spoke.
"I figure you were right. I was being selfish. I'm messing up Jason's natural inclination to..." she moved her hands about looking for the proper words. "Procreate or whatever."
Kyle almost dropped his sandwich. "You're letting him take another wife?" he shouted even louder than before.
"A little louder, Kyle. I don't think the hospital on the next block heard you. No, that's not it. If we divorce he can do as he pleases. It's marriage that's the evil here. Marriage with its unreasonable vows of chastity and faithfulness that men simply can't follow anyway because nature gets in the way. Or rather marriage gets in the way of nature. Yes, that's what you said."
"Hell, that's not what I said at all. Of course we can be faithful. I am and Jason has been, hasn't he?"
Lisa shrugged. "According to you that's impossible."
"I never said that!" he shouted.
"I beg to differ, Mister. I recall quite clearly what you said. I meditated on it the whole weekend in fact."
First off, he couldn't believe she thought that stupid conversation worth mediating on and secondly, "You must not have had a fun weekend if that's all you did."
"Actually it was pretty good. I guess Jason thought it time to pay me some extra attention seeing as I was unhappy enough to want a divorce, so he took me to my favorite botanical garden. There was a nice Celtic band playing and they had the fountain and light show once it got dark. We even got Chinese. It was kinda nice. He said I was still a cheap date," she said with a giggle but she quickly sobered. "That must be why he's keeping me. Saves him money. Divorce is costly I hear. But that was after he bought me about a dozen new books. It was Lisa's weekend for undeserved gifts, "she said with an oddly sad note to her voice.
"And why would you say you don't deserve them? Jason was obviously making certain you know he doesn't want to lose you,"Kyle said, his tone earnest. "He knew what would get you to stop thinking of some stupid divorce."
She shrugged again. "That's what I get for being married to a man for over twenty years. He knows me too well." She sighed and added, "Guess he's a glutton for punishment wanting be stuck with me, as unreasonable as I am and all that. But he probably knows no one will put up with his crap as well as I have all these years. I may not look it but I'm a push over. He gets his way every time with no argument from me."
She was right. Kyle would never say she was a push over. He wanted to laugh but didn't. Instead he just stared at her wondering what this all was really about. From being married almost as long as Lisa he knew women got upset and started fights about everything except the thing that really was bothering them. Displaced anger they called it. Man, was that annoying!
She suddenly looked so sad and he didn't much like it. He was used to seeing her happy and carefree. It was the one reason he felt compelled to visit her during his lunch break. Whenever he had a horrible day she would make him forget it. She always made him smile. That and she was nicer to look at than a bunch of blenching beer-bellied co-workers.
Something was bothering her and it had little to do with polygamy or divorce. He was sure of it.
"Are you going to tell me why you're so sad when you're not really getting a divorce?" he asked, his tone gentle.
She glanced up and her eyes looked like twin lakes ready to overflow. It momentarily tore at his heart. "I'm getting so old," she said in a voice that trembled.
"No, you're not," he answered on automatic.
"It's my birthday tomorrow,"she mumbled.
"Happy birthday! Now you'll be...what? 25 for the fifth time?"he said smiling at her.
"So funny, aren't you?"she replied narrowing her eyes at him.
"Can't be older than I am. I have the fire department on standby when they light up my birthday cake."
"Like everything, it's different for men. Men get distinguished as they get older. Women get extinguished," she muttered through clenched teeth.
He laughed but quickly stopped. "That's not true, Lisa. You're still beautiful. Jason thinks so or he wouldn't keep you around," he said
"Am too. I got a speeding ticket last week," she said by way of explanation.
This went completely over his head. He blinked several times as he chewed slowly and waited for her to clarify. When she didn't add anything he asked, "So?"
She rolled her eyes to the heavens. "I never get a speeding ticket. They take one look at me, I smile and apologize, flirt a little bit maybe and they give me a warning and I go on my way speeding all over again. I got a ticket cuz I'm no longer cute."
He broke out in laughter and, almost choking on his food, had to take a drink before answering. "How much over the speed limit were you doing?"
"That never used to matter,"she said avoiding looking him in the eyes.
"How much?"he asked again lifting a disapproving eyebrow much like he did with his wife or kids when they were up to no good.
She gave him a contemptuous look then said, "20 over in a school zone."
"Hell's bells, Kid! What did you expect? I'm surprised they didn't haul you in just for the heck of it."
"It never mattered before I got too old and not pretty anymore," she said with a petulant pout so reminiscent of his own daughter he had to stop himself from taking her into his arms and telling her everything would be all right.
"20 over in a school zone, Lisa. Even a super-model in a bikini would get a ticket by these speed-Nazis we have around here. You are definitely still cute, cute as hell, in fact."
She shot him a look at clearly said, "You know nothing."
"Don't believe me, huh? Well, you just get on a little mini skirt and a skimpy little tank top and walk on over to the construction site and you'll see and hear a lot of disagreeing, loud-mouthed, chauvinist pigs telling you exactly what they'd like to do to you. That sound good?" he said forcefully.
Much to his surprise she seemed to be giving this some serious contemplation. After a minute she said, "You know what? It kinda does."
He burst out laughing and she joined in. It took a while for them to stop but when they did she grinned at him and said, "I'm kinda glad we're friends, Kyle, even if it is accidental."
He stared at her, a quizzical expression on his face. "Accidental? What does that mean?"
"Well, you didn't actually set out to be my friend, did you?"
"Does anyone set out specifically to make friends? Isn't it all random?"
"Gosh, no. I always try to make friends with those I think I could really like."
"You didn't think you would like me?" he said sounding rather insulted.
"Of course not. You're a guy,"
"So?"
"So, I've never had a guy friend. All the guys I've ever known want to get in my pants and that's another thing that got me thinking I was not cute anymore. You didn't want to," she said, pouting again.
He opened his mouth then closed it again not quite knowing how to answer that without getting himself in trouble. "I'm married, Lisa. You know that. If I were single it would be a totally different thing. I'd be all over you."
She suddenly smiled, the sweetest smile he had ever seen on her. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Thank you, Kyle."
"Uh... you're welcome," he said, a little confused but glad just the same.
"I got this Christian book, "This Present Darkness" by Frank E. Peretti. I don't usually read books of that sort but a friend said it was really good and...."
He listened to her prattle happily on and marveled, half dazed and half bewildered at her abrupt change in mood. Was that all it took to make her happy? Knowing he would do her in a second if given the chance? Girls were just too weird, but they were good to look at during your lunch hour.
Accidental friends, she had called them. He thought on this a bit then came to the conclusion some accidents were pretty darn good to have.