by Belinda Long

Created on: September 14, 2009

Conditional love is an oxymoron, because conditions defeat love. Love is meant to stand the test of time. It is meant to encompass it's receiver in a shell of safety. Love accepts it's receiver with open arms no matter the circumstances. Much like our relationships with our children, love doesn't turn it's back when it would be too hard to face the fire. Love knows that it, and only it, can survive the storm.

Unconditional love is a choice we make to love a person no matter what. It doesn't scoff at imperfections or become resentful and bitter. It smiles in the face of adversity. because it knows it is needed the most at that moment. Unconditional loves listens actively and responds accordingly. It doesn't need a reason or incentive to give itself. It loves because that is what love is supposed to do. It is a gift both to those who receive it and to those who are able to give it. Unconditional love is most recognizable because it gives love even when that love is undeserved, unwanted and nonreciprocating.

Many of us believe we love someone, even when our actions in this so called "love" defeat the purpose. We promise to spend the rest of our lives together with our spouse, then take his inability to clean up his dirty socks as a personal insult. Unconditional love realizes that neither you nor your spouse is perfect, and loves even when those imperfections make that love undeserved. It always looks for flaws within itself, before so easily finding them in others. It doesn't fold when the stakes are high and the hand is weak.

Some of us spend our entire lives looking for this kind of love. Some of us give up and accept, as well as give, less. Some believe that unconditional love is impossible without a relationship with God. I believe that unconditional love is a conscious choice, and can therefore be given by any willing heart. Anyone willing to give unconditional love, and wise enough to learn how, will be changed forever by the freedom and peace it can bring. Unconditional love doesn't merely say I love you to the person you give it to, but it also says I love you, to yourself. It is a gift to anyone touched by it.

Conditional love does not exist because love means nothing if conditions are attached. Take a good look at your relationship, both with yourself and with others. What kind of conditions do you place on the "love" you give?

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