by Eileen Schmidt

Created on: September 13, 2009

Second marriages can work and in most cases, they work a lot better than the first time around. There are so many reasons for this. Not all of us are blessed with meeting our true soul mate on the first try. People fall in love and are sure that this is the one person they are meant to marry and spend the rest of their lives with, but time can change that. Sometimes, you can work so hard to make things work and keep the marriage alive, but it just doesn't always work that way.

Marriage is so much different than dating and the only way to truly understand or know that is to get married. In a marriage, one fights harder for what they believe in. Trying to impress the one you love goes out the window. Fear of rejection disappears. We become more comfortable in our own skin once we marry the one we have loved for so long as opposed to just dating him or her. That is precisely why time can change things. Because a marriage is so much deeper than dating, it is filled with more trials and tribulations, it makes you work harder. But people change. We learn in a marriage what we want and need in a partner more than ever before. We learn how to effectively communicate and we are taught about compromise. One learns more about themselves in a marriage and how to have patience all over again. Sometimes, it is too much to handle and take in and leads to a divorce.

The second time a person stands before their Higher Power and vows to honor and cherish a person till death do them part, it seems more scary. More real, in a sense. You already know what to expect going in. One is more careful even before getting married. Certain questions to ask and ways of going about communicating. You know going in that there are different ways to approach things. You have more patience and more understanding. Your communication has become stronger and you now have a better idea of what you really want. Once divorced from the love of your life, it makes you realize just how fragile life, love, and relationships really are. That is what makes a person work harder and be more cautious. You know how quickly your world can be turned upside down and your heart shattered like glass. That is why, if you choose to let your guard down and marry again, it tends to work better.

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