by Kamryn Adams

Created on: September 12, 2009

There are three basic things you should know before becoming a parent:

#1 Children are not miniature adults

#2 Cute babies grow up to be independence seeking toddlers, testing tweens, irritating, hormone-twirling teenagers

#3 Children Require Discipline

If you know these three things you most certainly have the minimum aptitude to create life on the earth. If you do not know these things then I'd suggest you stick to taking your godchildren to Chuck E. Cheese once a month. The foundation for all of parenting is rooted in the three principles listed above. In order to apply them you must have a strong backbone and be fearless when it comes to unpopular decisions.

Children are not just tiny versions of adults. They should not be treated as such. Don't expect your children to make decisions for themselves. It is your job to make decisions until your child develops the skill to make a variety of decisions on their own as they grow and mature. If you aren't actively teaching them, they may never develop those skills. Examples: Toddlers cannot decide when to have a cookie. School-age children cannot decide upon a bedtime, and teenagers cannot decide upon a curfew or whether or not they want to go to school. And don't give me this junk about teaching our children to be individuals. Please! Before one can learn to make good decisions, it must be taught and modeled for them. By the way, rule #1 includes dressing your daughter like a tiny woman.

If you want a baby, you better make sure you want a toddler, tween, and teen too, because babies grow up. The same focus and attention you give your baby eating, sleeping, and learning needs to be consistent throughout the child rearing process.If your thought of motherhood is wrapped around the memory of playing dolls when you were younger or you want someone to dress up and do hair...go to the American Girl store and get your make-believe mama going. The decision to have children should not be based upon your ability to take care of a baby. It should be based upon your ability to provide love, care, and GUIDANCE to living, breathing, often back-talking creature. You have to teach your children how to treat others, to acknowledge authority, and manage money. All of this takes place after the diaper pail is empty. By the way, rule #2 includes monitoring your child's social interactions, even FACEBOOK and MYSPACE.

Time-out, spanking, or grounding...I don't really care what method of discipline you use in your home, just use something. Children desire discipline and boundaries that they cannot escape. This is the way they learn the difference between right and wrong. Don't make me be the one to tell your child to stop jumping on my sofa. It's uncomfortable for me and I'd imagine it's embarrassing to you. Instruct your children with love and explain that there are consequences to every action. "I understand that you are sorry, sweetheart. However, you know the rules and you have to be punished." See, nice and sweet. No yelling. No discussion. You get the last word. Remember, you can't discipline every child the same way. Parenting requires you to spend enough time getting to know your children so that you understand what produces the desired outcome...which is knowledge and wisdom as they grow, not fear of you. In case you don't realize it, rule #3 includes telling your child "NO" sometimes.

Smart parents make unpopular decisions. That takes courage and a whole lot of backbone.

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