by Glenore Weal

Created on: September 11, 2009

I got stuck in an elevator when I worked at 2 World Trade Center about 20 years ago. I worked on the 69th floor at that time and I remember that when the elevator started moving again and I got to my desk, I was so panicked that I could barely work for the rest of the day. At that time, it was fairly easy to get a job so I followed the gypsy in my soul and decided to look for another job elsewhere. Several months later, my former boss called to ask if I was interested in coming back. I joked with him, "Are you still on the 69th floor? Yes, came the reply. "Then I won't be back until you move downstairs."

I recalled that conversation vividly on that terrible day, September 11, 2001. I worked just across the river in Brooklyn back then. My daughter worked just a few blocks from the Trade Center and after finally reaching her and realizing she was alright, I left work and slowly walked home, about twenty blocks from work. I saw the smoke float across the river, along with loose pieces of paper and forms that I later found out were paperwork from the desks of those who had perished at the Twin Towers.

When the list of names of those lost in the tragedy was published, I couldn't look at it. When it was printed in the paper, I didn't read it and when they displayed them on television, I turned the channel. I didn't want to know. My daughter went back to work a week or two after the tragedy and I went to visit her at her job one day. The first thing I noticed when I walked down the street was how bright and sunny it was, almost blindingly so.... and then I realized that it was because the World Trade Center complex was no longer there to block the sun. Still, I couldn't turn my head in that direction. My daughter and I walked along, her chatting about something inconsequential, and me lost in my own thoughts and afraid to turn my head toward what had been named Ground Zero. By then, a fence had been built around it, so on some level I knew I wouldn't see a huge black hole or destroyed buildings... still, I couldn't look.

Many months later, I finally forced myself to look at the list of names. My former boss and co-workers weren't on it. The company had been brought by another firm and had probably moved out of the building. If I had gone back to work for him, I probably wouldn't have been there on September 11.

I was in the area a few years later and decided I might be strong enough to walk by and actually turn my head toward the site. Taking a deep breath, I walked over and touched the fence. And then I walked away. I haven't been back since that day.

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