by june

Created on: September 11, 2009   Last Updated: September 12, 2009

I visited Ground Zero in February of 2002. It was a cold and rainy day which seemed to fit the dreary mood of the group I was with. We felt the need to visit the spot where so many had lost their lives in such a cowardly and heartless attack. Having a special spot in my heart for the firefighters that responded to what would be for so many their last call, I felt almost weak when I saw the huge hole and the blackened buildings that stood surrounding it.

The somber mood of the people standing on the platform said far more than any words could say. People stood and looked down into that vast and empty hole and tears streamed down their faces as it did mine. I have never felt the pain of loss so acutely in my life. It was not only the loss of lives but also the loss of a way of life that we had always known. Just knowing that we were vulnerable enough that someone could do this caused an unbelievable ache in my heart.

We were allowed to stand on the platform for a short while and then had to move to make room for the many others waiting to pay their respects. The rain continued to fall but no one seemed in a hurry to leave. Everyone moved at a slow but deliberate pace and the quietness made the moment even more surreal. There was a wall to sign your name and write your thoughts. It was covered with sentiments from people from all parts of the world. My hand was shaking so much that I could hardly write the few words that I wanted to leave there. Most of my feelings would remain in my heart where they still remain to this day. I can't imagine that I will ever forget the emotions that I felt that day.

My mind wandered back to the day this all happened and I remembered how we all watched in shock as the second plane hit and then as the buildings came crumbling down. We were all horrified and later, we would watch it replay over and over again on television. The pain became anger and we all wanted to seek revenge. We needed to dream of revenge to get past the pain. Time would lessen that but in the initial days we had to have something to hold onto, something to give us a reason to keep going. Justice for those who lost their lives in the World Trade Center, at the Pentagon and on a lonely field in Pennsylvania became our battle cry.

Funny, standing on that platform I didn't think about revenge, I only thought of the lives lost and the loved ones who would have to go on and rebuild their lives without them. I tried to imagine for a moment how a person finds the strength to do that. I had said prayers while standing on the platform but I remember saying another one as we walked away from the site. This time the prayer was for all of us left to continue our lives knowing that this had happened.

Learn more about this author, june.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.