by Shilo Dawn Goodson

Created on: September 09, 2009   Last Updated: September 13, 2009

There are two main problems with the phrase, I love you. First of all, some people use it with little meaning behind the words. It's used basically because the person feels obligated to use the words or as a way of really just saying, I like you a lot. Yet, there are also those who rarely use the phrase, assuming their loved ones know that they are loved. Because of these differences in how people use the phrase, the second problem arises. I love you has different meanings for different people, and with that comes different expectations depending upon the person. This can create problems, particularly in a romantic relationship.

Often when people get into a relationship, there is pressure to use the words I love you early in the relationship almost as a way of staking their claim upon their new significant other. The person may not even really mean the words. What they really mean is that they like the person. They may even like the person a lot, but they may have said these words to six or eight previous girlfriends or boyfriends (if not more people than that). The person may continue to say these words throughout the relationship. It becomes routine and continues to have little meaning. The relationship may continue to develop, and the person may come to really love their partner, but how do they express in words their feelings when they have already said I love you to that person? These feelings are a lot stronger than the initial feelings, so the same words won't really do.

When people really do love each other, they should say, I love you on a regular basis. People need to know that they are loved and appreciated. Yet, these words should have real meaning for the person saying the words as well as for the person hearing the words. They should not become words that are just routine and maybe even expected. When they become routine, the words lose their meaning.

No one should feel obligated to say, I love you when they really just like the person. Even if someone else says those words to you, you should never feel obligated to return the words if you don't mean them. I personally know that if I had a boyfriend who had said, I love you to fifteen other girls, I wouldn't feel like there was much meaning in his words. Yet, if I knew these were words that he reserved for someone he really cared for, I would know that I was something special to him. The words would have a real meaning to me.

For some people, the phrase I love you can create a real communication

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