by Saurabh Pal

Created on: September 09, 2009   Last Updated: September 11, 2009

These days parenting has become a challenging job. A couple of decades ago, parenting was more about producing children. Rest of the job was done by relatives, siblings and environment. Life was relatively stress free and far less competitive than it is today. Naturally the role of parenting has become more important these days as morals are going down, financial responsibility goes haywire and adult promiscuity is on the rise.

Parenting has great importance in shaping the future of a child. The father and mother have an important role to play in the upbringing of their children. Both parents should look to this time as an opportunity to give positive instruction, influence and direction to their children. Children spend most of their initial years with parents and it should be a time to teach values, morals and principles to their children more by setting examples through their own actions and words. Don't get scared... to be a good parent, you need to have a strong backbone as well and keep it straight.

But parenting is not without its own challenges. Children have more money to spare and come from families that provide approval to early sex and drugs. Parents who do that think that their children could move away from them if they say no. Remember proper parenting requires parents to be firm with their children if required. But many adults think that being firm with their children can be counter-productive.

One must also remember that there are people who indulge their children and spoil them with lots and lots of toys, clothes or money. Such children can be friends of your child and he or she may want to keep up with their friends. It will be entirely up to you to determine how much leeway you can give. But it is also important for you to discuss such situation with your child to ensure he or she understands that there are limits on how much you can give. It is best to set expectations as early as possible so that there is no acute disappointment in later life.

Both the parents need to agree on what standards to set for their children and how they can enforce the same. If children sense a divide between father and mother then they will exploit this to the hilt. So parents need to agree before hand and then communicate with their children. At some homes, mothers do the talking and can be firm but father needs to back her up so that children know that they have no option. But should it happen that mother is firm and father is indulgent then children will realise pretty soon that they need to fall in line and believe me they will.

Parenting is not about allowing children to do what they want. Instead it is about teaching them how to make those crucial decisions in life. Decisions must be based on certain principles and values as espoused by the family. It is the duty of parents to set standards for their children to emulate and follow. Remember you will not be around to protect them always. So they have to grow up and learn to take decisions on their own. Parenting is about preparing them to take these decisions on their own.

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