by Rebecca K.

Created on: September 08, 2009   Last Updated: September 09, 2009

There are lots of reasons why a marriage may fail. There is everything from infidelity, lying, disrespect, abuse, or simply falling out of love with the person. Sometimes marriages fail because over the years people's interests change or they are simply not the same person they were when you first got together. Quoting a TV show I saw on relationships, the guy said, "Falling in love requires a pulse, but staying in love requires a plan." I believe this is very true.

Probably the biggest relationship killer is disrespect. Many couples hurt each other by talking down to the other person in front of company, insulting them in private or constantly trying to one-up the other person. A marriage should not be about who is always right, it should be about caring for the other person more than yourself and putting them first.

Power struggles is another killer of marriages. There is usually one person in the relationship who makes all the decisions or controls the finances. This can lead the other person to feel as if they are not important or resentful toward the other partner especially if the one lets the power go to their head. Ideally both people in the marriage should submit toward each other and no person should be in control. They should discuss things and want to do things to make the other person happy.

Lying, cheating and affairs obviously kill many marriages. Sometimes the partner is just having an emotional affair with a "friend" or someone over the internet. While this is not nearly as "bad" as actually having sex with another person, it can still be devastating to a marriage. Once someone cheats or is involved with another person, it creates doubts and ruins a person's ability to trust them or anyone else ever again. Stopping these behaviors would be a good start, but may not be enough to save a marriage.

I personally think that many marriages fail because it's trendy to get a divorce now. People marry and re-marry and re-re-marry over again without much thought. Once people married for life and divorce was a huge stigma. I'm not saying all people should stay together especially if they are both miserable, but that our society is almost too encouraging about divorces today.

These are some of the main reasons marriages fail. If you would like to avoid a divorce, quit competing with your partner, thinking you're always right and blaming them. Both people should not be competitors but should both bend to take care of each other.

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