I've gone through hundreds of romance novels at one stage in my life where in they were the only genre of books I read. My numerous library cards lay proof to how fast and how many of them I went through during that one year in high school. It was by pure luck that my first Judith McNaught book also became my most favourite romance novel.

Once and Always is the story of Victoria Seaton, an orphaned but free-spirited American beauty who travels to England to claim a long-lost heritage she never knew she had. Here she meets a distant cousin, the notorious Jason Fielding who has been charged as her guardian, who would then to introduce Victoria to the ton.

This of course becomes a great platform for Ms. McNaught to explore the many ins and outs of the English ton as Jason teaches Victoria the proper decorum expected of her as a Lady. Add the undeniable attraction between a guardian and his charge, and the matchmaking tendencies of Victoria's grandmother and Jason's father, and this historical masterpiece is meant to be one of the most successful books of its genre.

What attracted me most to this story was Jason's history - he was an orphaned boy raised by abusive adoptive parents. Jason himself is an illegitimate son of a duke and his French peasant paramour. It is revealed that his 'parents' were insane religious fanatics who lived in India preaching salvation, while at the same time using Jason as a symbol for the devil and beating him in front of everyone so that he could go to the people and beg their forgiveness.

With emotional baggage like this, the question of how this character could be a good match to the innocent Victoria became one of the most interesting things I discovered while reading the book.

My favourite description of a man in love could also be found toward the end where Victoria talks with Mike Farrell, a trusted mentor and long time friend of Jason. He explains to Victoria why confessing her love would be the key in making Jason accept her. Mike also finally reveals Jason's past and in doing so allows Victoria a glimpse into the real Jason Fielding who was outwardly aloof and unemotional but very much vulnerable - "most men love easily but often. But Jason will love only once, and then it will be for always."

The scene where Jason finally realizes Victoria's love for him is also one of the most heartbreaking for me. Jason had always hidden his scarred back from his lovers especially after a girl expressed her fear and revulsion when he had accidentally turned his back to her. In one of the last chapters, as Jason tries to seduce Victoria, he unknowingly gives her a glimpse of the scars. As she gasps in surprise Jason freezes in place thinking she would be disgusted and run away from him. But to his own surprise, Victoria embraces him from behind and slowly kisses the marks on this back telling Jason that she wished her kisses could heal whatever pain he suffered and might still continue to be suffering. It was this achingly tender moment that Jason finally realizes that Victoria is the one woman he would love forever. I will unashamedly admit that I cried at this scene and I will most probably do the same when I read the book again.

As I finished the last page of this book I became enamoured with Judith McNaught's work and have undoubtedly become one of her most avid fans.

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