by David Smith

Created on: September 08, 2009   Last Updated: September 09, 2009

There are a great many things in this world that can kill a marriage. Among the top marriage killers are infidelity, abusiveness, chemical addiction, and the ever present ease of getting a divorce.

The first thing that I must say about this subject is that a marriage is not a walk in the park, bed or roses or several other quirky cliches that have been associated with matrimony. A marriage is work, and the work must be from both partners in the union. If only one person is putting forth the effort, then the marriage is doomed to fail. However, someone once told me that one of life's greatest rewards come from performing work that worth doing, and a marriage is definitely work that's worth doing.

I would say that the quickest way to kill a marriage is one of the partners being unfaithful. Statistics show that this is more prevalent in men than in women, but both partners can cheat in a marriage. The message that you send your spouse when you cheat is that they are just not good enough. Maybe you were simply inebriated at a party and a cute smile got the best of you, or maybe you just found that you cannot be stimulated by your spouse any longer, the act of infidelity can ruin a marriage, and it can do so quickly.

By cheating on your spouse, you are taking away the security of the relationship, and a marriage must have a high degree of security for it to succeed. If one partner is convinced that their spouse is the only person for them, but they know that their spouse does not reciprocate those feelings, then security is gone and the marriage will no doubt fail.

Being in an abusive relationship is never the way to go. This is one of the few times that I personally believe that the marriage should fail because no one deserves to be abused by a loved one. Abuse takes many forms other than physical abuse as well. There is emotional abuse as well. If you are in a relationship where you are made to feel that you are worthless without your spouse, or that you can find no one else to love you, than you are in an abusive relationship.

Again, statistically, men are the most common abusers. However, this does not mean that men aren't abused in relationships, it just means that it either doesn't happen often or it often isn't reported. The machismo of most men will not allow them to admit that they are being abused, either physically or emotionally. If you are being abused in a relationship, get out while you can. That is to say: Let the marriage fail before your spouse

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