by Natalie OConnell

Created on: September 08, 2009   Last Updated: September 09, 2009

Regardless of the circumstances, it is NOT okay for a parent to ever vent to their kids about the other parent. I've been there. It's not fun. It affects you and the way you look at life.

In my situation, I was 16 years old and it was my mother always venting about my father. Yes, she had good reason, but it still wasn't acceptable and it really screwed up my view on life and it made it really hard for me to deal with problems. Also, I can't stand people being angry at me. It reduces me to tears almost instantly.

The venting went on for a year. A year! Can you imagine listening to almost constant venting for a year? It was a nightmare. You don't know what to say, what to do so you just stay silent. And you suffer.

That's the thing really. Parents get so wrapped up in their own world and their own problems that they don't realize what they're doing to their children. That they are making their kids suffer for something they didn't even do. It really takes a tole on children. It makes them lose their innocence and their optimism. It makes them hurt, it makes them sad. And there is always that pressure to pick a side even if it isn't said.

Home is supposed to be their haven. How can it be when a parent or parents are venting about the other? It makes children not want to come home. It's no longer their haven. It becomes their prison.

Parents need to think before the speak around their children. They are impressionable. Everything effects them and how they turn out as they get older.

Venting can also destroy the relationship between parent(s) and child(ren). The kids start to resent the parent(s) for what they put them through. Children never forget harsh words and situations. I know I will never forget. It affects me day in and day out, in every situation.

Children are supposed to be able to be just that: CHILDREN. They shouldn't have to worry about their parents venting and their parents' problems. They shouldn't have to worry about situations and picking sides. They should be outside playing, being happy and carefree. When you vent to your child, you are taking that away from them. Next time you want to vent to your child(ren) ask yourself; should I say that to my child(ren)? If I do, how will it affect them? That should say it all.

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