by Eileen Goldenberg

Created on: September 08, 2009

As I strain to wrap my right leg up and around my left, and entwine my arms like some gnarly tree trunk, I hear the soothing voice of my yoga teacher exhorting us to "empty our minds'. "Don't worry if a thought creeps in," she comforts us,"Just concentrate on removing the thought".

Never mind that in Eagle pose I'm falling over every few seconds; I mustn't think, I must move back into the pose with my empty mind. There! It was empty for a minute! Wasn't it? I swear I wasn't thinking about anything. But now I am. Darn. I try to empty it again, clear out the clutter.

On to Utkatasana, also known as Awkward Pose, and I crouch on my toes in a squatting position with my arms straight out. I start to keel over again, invading my neighbor's space. Awkward! But rather then let my self conscious thoughts invade my brain like little marching ants, I strive to obliterate them. Empty my mind, empty my mind.

During Dandayamana - Bibhaktapada - Janushirasana or Standing Separate leg/Head to Knee pose, I peek between my legs to see how my flexibility compares to the other practitioners. "No, no!" I chastise myself, "You're not even trying to clear your mind of all thought".

Padangustasana, or Toe Stand Pose, is next, and my empty mind has a little thought poke the edges- and I let it creep in about how hard this pose is, and how proud of myself I am for doing it- and I wonder how many other people in the room are doing it, and my eyes shift just a teeny bit. "Eyes to the mirror- focus only on yourselves" my yoga teacher gently chides.

The physicality of these challenging poses is nothing compared to the mental exhaustion of vainly trying to completely empty my mind. Some days I am more successful than others, and I do see the benefits when I am able to concentrate only on my breathing and nothing else. I love my yoga practice regardless, and always feel refreshed afterward. But I wonder how many of the other woman in my class get through the entire 90 minutes without one pesky thought creeping in. Women are known to be excellent multi-taskers after all, and it's in our genetic makeup to be doing several things at once and thinking about several things while we are doing those multiple things.

So please don't tell my teacher but I've decided the word namaste, said at the close of my yoga classes, means, the god in me chatters endlessly to the god within you.

Learn more about this author, Eileen Goldenberg.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.