by Michelle Thomas

Created on: February 10, 2007   Last Updated: October 23, 2009

Crossroads and Culture. Did you know that culture is not just your ethnicity or religion. Each family has their very own distinct culture within the walls of their relationship. "Normal" or "Average" (Is there such a thing?) families each have their own culture or portrait of themselves. For some it can involve family dinners, church services or farming. For others it can involve domestic violence, addiction (from alcohol or drugs to pornography or food) or mental illness. Any family trait can be entwined or mingled. Each of us has our own culture as well, which we bring into the families that we create. I come from a culture of moderate income, dramatic arguing, overeating and emotional abuse. My husband comes from lower income, introverted, some alcoholism and unconditional love. When we united our own family culture was born. I like to believe that we only took all of the good stuff from our families cultures and created the perfect culture for ourselves and our children. But, I am not that naive. Some of the less desirable traits came with us into our home, whether we wanted them to or not. I believe when you are young you are clueless to this culture merging, that is until your first argument and your spouse tells you that you are acting "just like your mother"! Of course your initial instinct is lash out and deny it like when you lose a $100.00 bill, but then, somewhere deep inside you know it is true. At this point you are at a crossroads. A) Do you just continue on the way your parents did, your grandparents, etc... or B) Make a conscious choice to be better or different? Each of us at some point in our lives will come to this crossroad. It may happen as I described above, or it may happen in high-school when you must decide to graduate and not drop out like your parents did, or when your parents are old and you must decide to disrupt your family culture and let them live with you or put them in a convalescent home like they did with your grandparents. We choose what culture we incorporate into our lives by the choices we make throughout our lives.

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