by Virginia L. Allen

Created on: September 07, 2009   Last Updated: November 21, 2009

I am of African American descent, and my husband is from Cuban and Puerto Rican descent. We've been married for four - going on five - wonderful years, and we still get the whispers and disapproving stares. None of this really matters to us however, since we are happy to wake up to each other and share our lives with each other every single day.

Whether it's from strangers, friends, family, or acquaintances, at times the negative reactions we may receive can be disquieting.

Nevertheless, here's how we deal with it....

* Ignore It.

Many times we just ignore the stares or snide remarks. Usually it is out of ignorance or bad life experiences that contribute to the close-minded attitude many people against interracial relationships have. It's usually not worth our time, energy, or effort to either address it or mull over it.

* Find The Humor In It.

Although humor and prejudice don't necessarily go hand in hand, sometimes the outright silliness of some of the situations literally makes us laugh. Were not sure if it's the outright shock of the openness of their disdain, or just an knee-jerk reaction to the superciliousness of their reactions. Whatever the case, laughing makes their reactions so minuscule.

* Empathize.

It's a common truth that prejudice is a learned behavior. Whether it's due to negative life experiences, misinformation, one's surroundings , even peer pressure, all of these circumstances factor in on how a person reacts to, or sees life. It's for these reasons, that many times my husband and I truly empathize with those who act with disdain or disgust when they see us together.

* Address The Issue.

If the circumstances allow, respectfully and tactfully dealing with the situation is an ideal way of putting misconceptions or concerns to rest. This reaction is best when addressing friends, family, and certain acquaintances. More often than not, we don't see the need to address the issue with strangers, since we try to avoid conflict at all cost and may never see that person again.

* Hold On To What We Find Dear.

Inevitably, what outsiders say or how they react is "neither here nor there." Whom we choose to share our lives with is our prerogative. Our major concern is providing a loving and caring home environment for both our families and ourselves. Therefore, we just hold on to each other that much tighter, that much longer, and put what's dear to us first and foremost in our lives.

Unfortunately, no matter how far this society has come, prejudice still abounds. Instead of allowing it to effect how we feel about each other, we learn to live, love, and laugh harder because of it.

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