by Shayla Johnson

Created on: September 06, 2009   Last Updated: September 08, 2009

So you are a dad. This is an exciting and equally scary time of your life. All of a sudden you have become responsible for this new bundle of joy, which is more like a bundle of diaper changes and crying. Don't worry; bonding with your baby is easier than you may think.

The first step to bonding with your baby is to address the many fears that you have. Yes the baby is tiny and fragile, but you are not going to break the baby by holding him or her. It may feel a little awkward at first but it gets better with each time you experience it. I know you may be thinking you don't have the womanly skills needed to bond with your baby, but trust me you have something better daddy skills. Mommies often feel jealous of daddies to tell you the truth. Children who bond with their daddies have a very strong tie to them. Daddies are full of fun, and mommies keep them alive by feeding them and changing their diapers. To bond with your baby try holding him or her a few times a day, even if it is just for ten minutes.

Smile and talk to your baby in your normal tone of voice. You don't have to coo and speak babynese like women do. Why we do this I am unsure. When you get a little use to holding your baby, try feeding him or her. I know you may have just thought Hold on a minute, I am still trying to get comfortable holding my child. I am not ready for feedings. The truth is you may never feel ready, so the best bet is jump right in there and do it. You may feel nervous and shaky, but this is normal. Even new moms feel this way when feeding their children for the first time. I remember when I had my first child, I actually asked my mom to do the first feeding. Granted I was still drugged in the hospital and could barely move my arms, but fear did play a part as well. Now this will obviously only work if the mom is not breast feeding. If you would like to try feeding your baby, ask baby's mom to pump some breast milk into a bottle so that you can experience this moment in your child's life.

I know that when I had my second child, I had to go through an additional surgery; this impaired me from holding my son much. My husband had to step in and hold him and also spend a lot of quality time with him. It was stressful for my husband, but he and our son formed a bond so strong that it actually made me jealous! Every time my husband would walk by my son would yell out and smile at him. My son would coo and coo as long as daddy was around. When I held him all he did was stare at me.

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