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How to start a conversation and make friends

What do you do when you're invited to a party and the only person you'll know is the person who invited you? And the thought of trying to make conversation with complete strangers leaves you cold and not looking forward to the evening at all?

Perhaps it's not social events but networking or something work-related that has this effect on you. Either way, there are those of us who really enjoy talking to new people, while it strikes fear into the hearts of others.

Fear in this sort of situation often comes down to a lack of self-confidence - "I'm not very interesting," or "I can never think of anything to say." But there are easy ways around this because people usually perceive the most interesting people to be those who listen more than they talk. As Peter Thomson, author of "The Secrets of Communication. Be Heard And Get Great Results," says, "In other words, be interested rather than interesting."

Being Interested.

So you're at the party, everyone seems to know each other and you feel at a bit of a loss. To get some control over the situation, take a deep breath, stand relaxed and tall as if you're quite comfortable with the situation, and then head over to the bar and get a drink. The chances are that, unless you're wearing a very large and very colourful hat, no one is looking at you anyway so don't worry about being self-conscious. Just keep breathing gently (to calm any nerves,) and scan the room, drink in hand, looking for someone who looks friendly and approachable. If nerves are really getting the better of you then imagine everyone's naked - it's a great trick but remember not to laugh.

Find a Friend.

If you're in a couple then you can put your heads together for a few moments and discuss who you'd like to meet. If you're alone then try looking for a couple standing on their own (they're probably doing the same thing as you,) and go over to them - breathing and smiling at them as you do. A couple is usually easier to begin a conversation with than a group who will be already caught up in their own stories. If you're feeling really brave look for someone who's also alone and looking a bit lost, but just be aware that it might be harder to make easy conversation with someone who is feeling as awkward as you are.

Have some pre-prepared ideas for conversation starters but they don't have to begin with "Hello I'm Wendy, what's your name?" which can sound a bit forced. There are tried and trusted openers like asking how the other person knows the host, how


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