by Gregory Mayo

Created on: September 05, 2009

Alcoholism is merely a symptom of a deeper problem that typically stems from childhood trauma. This is true for all addictions. As it is, 12-step programs help individuals not drink but going deeper into recovery is often scoffed at and rarely embraced. The ironic thing is that the unwillingness to embrace the true nature of the disease and it's sources leads to a life of struggle. Just don't take that next drink...

An alcoholic has to stop drinking first. Nothing can be accomplished while an individual is enmeshed in their drug of choice. However, stopping is not the end result or goal. It is merely a step on a journey that can lead to an inner peace that can be found no other way. What stops most people that are shown the path that leads to the true source of pain is that the path is ugly. It is a journey that, in the beginning, is filled with pain, struggle, insecurity and memories that have been buried for years. One look down that road and most will turn away. It may be no worse than the road the addict is currently on but at least the current path is familiar.

See, alcoholism is not genetic in the sense that it is passed through biological matter or genetic code. Some suggested alcoholism skips a generation...still looking for some sort of medical answer. The truth is that dynamic can be explained through understanding how dysfunctional family systems work. Healthy people don't raise dysfunctional kids. By the same token, dysfunctional people can't possibly raise healthy kids. Because of assigned roles in the family system some kids have the appearance of being healthy and well-adjusted but that was simply the role they chose. They are ultimately masking the same pain.

So a child grows up and collects issues from his dysfunctional parents. At a point he finds a way to mask the pain and meet unfulfilled needs through alcohol. In time, however, the booze won't heal the pain. He drinks more but more leads to more. His pain grows and his struggle to run from the past grows tougher and tougher. Then, he finds a 12-step program. He stops drinking, sometimes for years, and may find ways to control the pain of the past. What he hasn't found yet is the pathway to peace.

Another finds sobriety too. She learns that pain in her childhood led her to run through drinking. She digs in with group workshops, books and therapy. After a period of darkness she finally emerges on the other side. She feels better and at peace with her past. The urge to numb the pain is gone. She learns to give her inner child what it didn't receive as a child. She grows and suddenly the idea of masking the pain seems silly. She has learned to use healthy tools to cope with triggers as they come up.

The man who has only found sobriety has no hope of drinking again. He could be sober 20 years or more but will not experience recovery. Chances are better than not that he has found another addiction to numb-out with. Food, cigarettes, coffee, exercise, work and sexual addictions are all possible. He is, after all, an addict. Since he hasn't dealt with the root cause of his addiction, he will use another addiction.

The woman above has recovered from her pain and could, conceivably, drink again socially if she so chose. The ironic thing here is that a person with that level of recovery would see no point in drinking or doing any other mood altering behavior. Growing past the need for any addiction opens her up to use alcohol without using it additively. But that level of growth removes the need for the drug of choice...in this case alcohol.

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