by Casey D.

Created on: September 05, 2009   Last Updated: September 06, 2009

I used to know what friendship was but now I'm not sure anymore. I used to think that friendship was when you had a best friend who was there when you needed them, never turned you away no matter what, stood up for you and someone who you could tell your deepest darkest secrets too.

Being fourteen, I haven't had a whole lot of friends but that is partly because of my self-esteem issues.

There was this one friend who for awhile was my only friend. She and me had been friends for seven years, ever since I moved to my home town. The friendship at first started out great, we had our scrabbles like many friends do then my neighbors daughter came to visit him for the Summer and we hit it off, we were such good friends... until I introduced my two friends to each other. After that, they both ignored me, they hung out together but never invited me to do anything with them, I was getting lonely and tired of it, I learned from my neighbors daughter that she and my other friend had been talking about me.

After my neighbors daughter left... like a fool a forgave my other friend. So we went through a few more years of friendship, though that one incident did occur more then once in those years, every time I forgave her and I never stood up for myself.

Just recently while I was being home schooled she went to the eight grade, she knew why I was home schooled, because I have a low self-esteem. She got a new group of friends and started ignoring once again, just like the many times before, she would call and we would make plans then she would tell me she would call me back, she never did. She even hung out with me for one day then wouldn't have any contact with me for two weeks after that.

I knew I deserved better, so I stood up for myself and like the immature person she was, she hung up the phone on me. As sad as I was that she didn't even like me to talk about it, but I was also proud of myself for standing up for myself.

A few days passed after that and it just so happened that we were on myspace together so we had a IM chat. That didn't go well at all, she called ME immature, selfish and said she would be praying for me because I was so mean. All's I wanted was a friend to hang out with like normal teenagers, I don't think thats selfish. Well my mom was reading what she was saying to me and she just told me that she was sick of this girls attitude towards me and that I couldn't be involved with me at all. That was fine for me.

Although I don't really have any friends right now, I stood up for myself and that's all that mattered.

For anybody that has a friend like this, please stick up for yourself. You control your life and don't rely on one person to be your friend like I did, chances are it will turn out bad.

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