by Melinda Barr

Created on: September 04, 2009   Last Updated: September 22, 2009

Our inner dialogue is most often a reflection of core beliefs and habits. How we self-communicate is as important as communicating with others.

Internal dialogue, aka that little voice inside, can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. The trick to recognizing self-talk is to analyze what the voice is really saying.

Self-esteem is very important for all of us. It colors how we feel about our relationships, our lives, and ourselves in general. The louder that voice gets or the more negative it becomes, the more apt our self-esteem is to crumble and fall under the weight of it.

We often hear that voice in our everyday lives but sometimes do not afford it the respect and attention it deserves. We generally hear words like 'you are an idiot, you never do anything right, or you are fat/ugly/dumb.'

Almost all of the time, these words come during times of stress, frustration, anger or despair. How we feel about ourselves determines how we see ourselves. How we see ourselves determines how we perceive others see us.

We would hesitate to accept this negativity and harshness from others, yet we accept it from ourselves willingly and often without challenge. The voice inside you has been programmed throughout your life, most often from negative events in the past or from current unhealthy situations.

For example, if a loved one like a parent or caregiver regularly chastised or demeaned you, chances are that little voice is repeating the nasty words heard and absorbed from those situations. For example, chances are that if someone tells you often enough that you are useless, clumsy, or whatever, over time you will absorb this belief as fact.

All people makes mistakes the same way all of us are not beauty queens or rockets scientists. That does not mean that we do not have value or worth. What it does mean is that we need to take steps to change the recordings we are hearing.

The next time you find yourself making a internal statement, pause and reflect for a moment. Are you always late/stupid/lazy, or whatever? Are your really? Every single time?

Chances are you have been late on occasion. You also may have had days when you neglected housework, misplaced your car keys, or tripped over your own feet. These minor little situations happen to all of us at one time or another.

No one is perfect, and none of us ever will be. The next time you hear that little voice, listen carefully. Respond to it, silently or aloud, whichever works best for you. If the little voice is correct and you are indeed always late, take action and resolve to be on time as much as possible. Turn the negatives into positives, and take all of your power back.

Changing your internal dialogue from negative to positive will happen over time, once you recognize and change these ingrained beliefs. Developing new beliefs and recording new habits, may take time and practice, but the rewards are immeasurable.

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