by Louise Riveiro - Mitchell

Created on: September 04, 2009

I was always led to believe that mourning for a loved one is part of the grieving process and closure to that cross road in our life.I remember my grandmother and all the other women in her age group were always in black and remained that way until they joined their husbands in death.

Being raised a strict Roman Catholic we were not spared the three to four day ritual of the wake and then the mass and burial of our loved one. I never understood the prolonging of the end of the matter nor the effect on the family as they sat for those days in vigil.

I understood that our mortal bodies are only vassals for our spirit/soul and when our bodies cease to exist our spirit/soul soars to the heavens where we are greeted by our loved one waiting there for us. What I didn't really understand was the grieving. I realize it is part of the process and that we are saddened that we no longer have our loved one with us, but should we not be happy that they are no longer in pain or suffering? I remembered how much my aunt suffered before she passed on. And though I feel the loss of not having her here she. as well as my mom, are in a better place and they no longer are suffering.

Though they are gone and we do grieve for them they really aren't gone, they live on in our memories and those precious moments we shared and smiled are what keeps them still with us.

Even Jesus died and rose again on the third day and in the bible he even said, " I go to the father to make a place for you ..." Did He not tell us that we all have a place in His father's house?

Is it wrong for Christians to mourn the dead? I feel it's not as long as it doesn't overpower us and we tend to shut everything and everyone out. No one can imagine the amount of grief and sorrow another feels, nor can we put ourselves in their shoes and tell them this too shall pass. We can be there to hold their hand, offer support, be that shoulder to lean on, and pray with them. I was told once that the Irish cry when you are born and rejoice when you pass on, I always found that odd until it was explained to me. The tears at your birth is that you are starting your journey in this world with all it's joys and sorrows, the rejoicing at your passing is that you have freed yourself of all the sorrow and pains of this plane and are home where you belong and surrounded by those who went before you are waiting patiently for you to join them.

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