by Cyn Lee

Created on: September 03, 2009   Last Updated: November 15, 2009

At 49, I had many first days of school. The one most vivid in memory, is the one spent in the bathroom of my parent's home. It was my first day in first grade. My parents had just moved to Burlington Vermont from Massachusetts and I wasn't happy about it. We had only lived there a couple weeks when school began. Up to that day, I had not even seen another child, let alone anyone my age. In fact, we lived so far out into the woods, I didn't think there were any kids my age in Burlington. To say I was petrified was an understatement. From the moment I opened my eyes that morning, I knew what I was going to do. My first day of school was to be spent locked inside the bathroom. No matter what threat, no matter what my parents promised, I wasn't coming out.

My mom made the first few appeals for me to come out, but I refused. "No! " I replied, loud enough for the whole house to know I was NOT going to THAT school. " Honey, " mom called me, "sweetie" she said, "PLEASE, " she whined. However none of the pet names she used worked. My dad wasn't so sweet. He had no pet names and used only threats, but they didn't work either.

Dad was getting mad because I was making him late for work. I told him to just go. He threatened to break the door if I didn't come out. I waited, and the door never budged. I heard my parents blame each other, saying stuff like, "she's YOUR daughter," she's stubborn like you." Still I wouldn't come out. When I heard my dad's car leave for work, I felt safe, yet I was not budging.

My mother returned to the bathroom throughout the morning and offered bribes. Pancakes, french toast, even ice cream for breakfast was offered. I now know why I was a chubby kid. However that morning I did not cave into sweets. I wanted to move back to my beloved friends in Massachusetts and I wasn't coming out til the U-haul was in the driveway.

At one point, I even refuse to open the door when my mom attempted to trick me by saying she had to go to the bathroom. I knew there was another bathroom in the house and as I told her repeatedly, " I'm never coming out." Since I was so against school that morning, and even into the early afternoon, mom agreed to allow me to miss school, still I hesitated, and the door remained locked.

Sometime around two O'clock in the afternoon, I unlocked the door. I walked into the living room where my mom was reading the newspaper. She didn't say hello, she didn't say anything. Mom just kept reading the paper. It shocked me when she didn't yell, or punish me. In fact, she didn't even acknowledge my presence. At six years old, I figured I got away with it and went to my room to play with my dolls. As I grew older I realized this was how she punished you, she wouldn't talk to you. Silence from someone you love can be more painful than a spank or banishment.

That night during dinner, my parents asked my older brother how his day was and he talked about it like it was a field trip. He told them all the stuff he had learned that day. He bragged about making friends and he gleamed about the bus ride. Neither my mom nor dad asked me anything. In fact they didn't even look at me. Finally, as dinner was just over and dishes were being gathered, my dad joked and asked me what I had learned today. I proudly stated, " I can spell Scott's Bathroom Tissue and Colgate Toothpaste." We all laughed.

Although I did end up going to that school, it was short lived. Seems my mom didn 't like living out in the boonies and my dad hated his new job. Within a few months I was living back in my beloved Massachusetts and happily hanging with old friends.

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