by Lyn Michaud

Created on: September 02, 2009   Last Updated: September 03, 2009

People converse for practical reasons; to share information, as entertainment with humor and insight, and for verbal release of emotions. Communication is best between two people; adding more participants requires additional effort to make sure everyone is involved. Whether this is the all-important job interview, a crucial relationship issue or responding with an answer to a toddler's question 'why is the sky blue?' Basic etiquette and active speaking and listening skills show you are interested in the interaction with family, friends, coworkers and customers. They matter to you. Anyone can become a good communicator. These tips will help you speak and listen with equal skill.

PRACTICE COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE

Watch eye contact and body language; crossing your arms and avoiding a person makes the listener think you are protecting yourself or avoiding direct communication. Try not to stare at one person and put them on the defensive, either. Watch public speakers to see how they use eye contact and body language to show openness and a willingness to draw everyone into the conversation.

Get rid of distractions turn off the cell phone, find a quiet place.

Don't interrupt.

Allow moments of silence to ruminate on the discussion. Let me process and understand what you said.

Repeat or summarize your understanding.

Be open to viewpoints; the other person's opinion is a valid viewpoint and you shouldn't be attempting to use the argument to force the listener to change to your point of view.

Terminate the conversation with a follow up plan.

Be reasonable in expectations. Sometimes a conversation catches us by surprise, take advantage of getting back to a person when you are better prepared.

SPEAKING TECHNIQUES

Concise, clear wording without rambling stay on subject.

Don't just answer questions with talking points; frame answers in context without changing the subject.

Make interesting for listener make sure they have a stake in the conversation. If the listeners aren't involved or have a reason to listen, they might think about what to make for dinner or who's playing in the sporting game.

Use the I's to prevent blaming, accusing or demands for immediate response. Frame issues in the form of I think, I feel, I heard, I understand.

Don't just talk about yourself be willing to talk about the other person. In any communication situation, consider it as a transaction each person gains something.

ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS

Be attentive and pay attention these are two different

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