by Holly Russell

Created on: September 02, 2009

Marriages seem to crumble and fall right before our eyes. Sometimes the reasons are obvious, and sometimes we are baffled. Even people who married with the best possible intentions and gave it their best shot are throwing in the towel at an alarming rate. It is frightening to think of yourself in that situation, particularly if you consider yourself committed to your marriage and desire for nothing more than a healthy loving partnership. Marriage takes work, but what does that work look like? The following thoughts and tools are ways we can work to form and maintain a solid marital unit.

Begin Strong - Putting positive, protective practices into your marriage from the very beginning can strengthen your foundations. Financial struggles, parenting issues, physical illness, loss of a job, problems with in-laws; some or all of these things will play a role in your marriage at some stage, and being united and strong as you enter into a time of crisis greatly affects how you handle it.

Learn what Love looks like - Dr. Gary Chapman gifted the world with his thoughts on love by sharing with us the secrets of the 5 love languages. In short they are:

1) Encouraging Words

2) Quality Time

3) Gifts

4) Acts of Service

5) Physical Touch

Everyone has a primary love language. This is the way we are most comfortable with showing our love, and also with receiving love. Suppose your primary love language is Acts of Service. You always keep the lawns mowed, the car serviced and filled with gas, the trash emptied, and the floors vacuumed. You spend your time giving of yourself for the benefit of others. What if your wife has the love language of Quality Time? She wants you to sit and have a cup of coffee, go for a drive on a Sunday afternoon to nowhere in particular, watch old movies together or go for walks on the beach. On some level, she may appreciate what you are doing for her, but she is not feeling as loved as she could if you recognized her love language and cherished her in what she needs.

No matter what your primary love language is, you need to learn to love and receive love in all of these different ways in order to be successful with relationships. It is a vital part of building a successful relationship with your husband or wife and also your children and support network.

Marriage Time - Prioritize your marriage by dedicating some time for yourselves each week. To begin with, you might be able to spend lots of time together, but as social and parental demands become

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