by Dale Sadler

Created on: September 01, 2009

Mason, my four-year-old son, typically asks me for permission. "Can I watch a movie? Can we go to the park? Can I ride my bike?" After his inquiries, I typically consult my watch, the keeper of all activity.

He has a couple of watches that he likes to wear. They might as well be in Egyptian though because he of course can't tell time. Anyway, today he asked me if he could do something, I consulted my timepiece as usual and gave him my answer of "no" which he didn't like. He then said, "Daddy, can you put on my watch?" I said, "sure." He enjoys wearing a watch from time to time. As I was strapping on his Thomas the Train watch, he said, "Daddy, when you ask me something, I'll look at my watch and tell you what to do." Oh really? I'm sure one day he'll also tell me that I look at my watch too much. He'll be right.

His statement says a lot about children and their observance of power. Mason noticed that every time I looked at my watch I made a decision (small or large) that affected his life somehow. He reasoned that if he had a watch, he could do the same. This is not true, but what is true is that some kids have lots of power even without a watch. Through tantrums, crying, and anger, children get their way and dictate what parents do. What children and teens often dictate is "let me have my way."

Children and teens are about the business of getting their way. We all want that. The bad thing is though that they don't have the means or ability very often to make decisions that are in their best interests. That's why God gave them parents. He didn't give us children to drive us crazy, we have them in order to raise a better generation, hopefully. Spend some time at the mall and you may question how this is going.

Too many parents try to figure out their children and understand their behavior. There is a time and place for this as I am a huge advocate of it, but some things don't require it. Directives like, "it's time to go" or "sit there" or "don't touch that" require no explanation, especially to a young child. He or she must understand that some things just have to be done and they have to be done when you (the parent) say so. This helps them observe who is in charge whether you're wearing a watch or not.

I told Mason, the other day that it was time to leave the park and get home to cook dinner. He went down the slide once more. I gave him a firm reprimand about this and made sure he understood that what he did was wrong. Was it a big deal, going down the slide one more time? No, but it was a big deal that he did it when I said it was time to go. Getting his way on the slides today could turn into getting his way with the car keys in the future.

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