The following are the Top 11 things to do at work beside work - with a warning. You may get fired! Therefore, this disclaimer needs to be read:
The opinions expressed herein may or may not be the writer's opinions and may or may not represent someone else's view, including those of the writer's or your employer (whomever that may be at the time). If you have any issues with any of these personal opinions it is suggested that you stop reading and forever hold your peace.
That being said here are the "Top 11 Things to do at Work... besides Work."
#1. Balance check-book!
Yes - balance it. Balance it again. Write checks, pay your bills and manage your personal finances while getting paid! Who knew making a personal budget means you get paid to do it. How's that for personal efficiency.
#2. Paint your nails.
For males, nails are not really that important at work. But for a female, this is the perfect time to find the right color, and the perfect time to do your nails without kids bothering you. There has yet to be an office where the 'ladies' have not taken advantage of 'quiet time' and making sure their nails are done for a night out on the town.
#3. Practice your short game.
You know the saying, "Drive for show, putt for dough!" If your office is carpeted, bring an extra putter. A real golfer has at least two of every club so an extra putter at work is a necessity. Stash a portable putting hole in your briefcase and your short game is sure to improve!
#4. Sleep.
This tip was going to be saved for last but it fit perfectly at #4. Going out on a Wednesday night is sure to ruin your Thursday poker night with the boys, so make sure you are refreshed by taking a nap before, and maybe another one after lunch. Your poker game will appreciate it.
#5. Call your long distance friends, family, kids in college and overseas relatives.
There is a phone right there in front of you. Why waste your valuable minutes on your cellular plan when all you have to do is pick up 'that' phone and dial? Duh!
#6. Write that award winning screenplay!
Everyone in Los Angeles is a writer. Waiters are writers. Lawyers are writers. Actors are writers. Your co-worker is a writer and everyone outside of Los Angeles wants to be a writer. So why not write and get paid? Some say that you're a professional writer once you get paid. Well, start your profession now! You're getting paid to sit there, might as well turn that time into writing an Oscar winning feature screenplay!
#7. Update your resume.
Why would you spend valuable time at home working on a resume when you are in the perfect environment to think 'resume'? The work environment is the prime location to get the feel for what you need to write. Your job description is at your fingertips, recruiters are a phone call away, job websites are online, why waste your time at home when you can be productive at work? Makes sense right?
#8. Have a drink or two.
Okay, this is usually reserved for lunch. A cold one, or a stiff drink. But who said a bottle of vodka in the cooler in your drawer is a bad idea? A shot or two and work goes by like a dream. You won't be able to wait to get back to work tomorrow so that you can look forward to a shot of vodka or better yet, a vodka martini. Talk about releasing stress: what boss wouldn't want you to release some stress?
#9. Have sex.
By yourself or with a partner. It's up to you. Just make sure its 'safe' so-to-speak. [wink-wink]
#10. Start a direct selling or retail business.
Retailing is easy. You have desk drawers and filing cabinets to store more inventory than you know. Generate a regular customer base with your coworkers and expand to other floors of the building and other department. Retailers would kill for free retail space, which you have at your disposal. Overhead is at a minimum, and sales can be so good you may never quit your job! Now that's loyalty! Any employer would love that kind of dedication. Their turnover will be low, and job satisfaction will be high.
#11. Go see a movie.
This occurs outside the office, but it is during work hours. The normal playing time for a movie is between 90 minutes to 2 hours. If you time your movie right, sneak out for an 'early' lunch, around 11:10 AM, but say you left at 12:15 PM means you can fit a movie in and be back at your desk by 1:30 PM by acting like you are only 15 minutes late.
If anyone asks where you were, give them the, 'what are you talking about' look. "I was here till 12:15 but ran into a line at the bank and got back just little late." Add, "I was looking for you to see if you wanted to do lunch but I couldn't find you."
They probably will say, "I went at noon." And you can reply, "Oh, that's why!"
There you have it. "The Top 11 Things to do at Work besides Work." Heck, if you do just 70% of these on a daily basis, you may never have to work another day of your life... in a matter of speaking.
See - brilliance.
Here's to work! Cheers!