by Martha McMillian

Created on: August 31, 2009   Last Updated: September 01, 2009

Teenage love. How serious can it really be? As teenagers it is possible to fall in and out of love several times a day. At the same time love developed during those years are the loves the dreams of the rest of your life is built on.

I first met Robert at 14, on a church youth retreat. We flirted on the drive up, but of course once we got there he was attracted to the blond hair and blue eyes girls in other youth groups and paid me no attention. On the drive back we became an item, talking and kissing during that bus ride. We broke up soon after, but remained connected through friends.

At 17 we met up again. Our relationship was hard to define at best. We talked for hours about everything, but we rarely went out in public. We spent most of our time making out and making love. I guess as Bob Seger sings, we were practicing our night moves. Actually, he was practicing while I was just laying there. I was too embarrassed to try much.

Over the next few years, we'd call it off, only to come back together again and again, all the while we were dating others. We never really mentioned love or any permanence to our relationship. When we would talk I would occasionally mention my plans of marriage and lots of babies, but Robert kept saying he wasn't ready for all of that.

Then I met Keith. He was a little older, but had it together. He had a good job, nice truck, and a good man all around. The type of man you would want your daughter to settle down with. After dating for several months, I cut off ties with Robert and things were fine.

About a year later, Robert called. He wanted to get together for old times sake. Why did I go? I needed to know for myself if there were any feelings I needed to deal with. I have never truly been able to define what I felt. All I knew is there was never any resistance, almost like a spell over me when he was around.

Another few years go by and I hear from Robert again. He again told me he wanted to get together for old times sake. I was at least stronger this time and did not agree to see him. I did tell him that Keith and I were engaged and would be married in about three months.

There was a long pause. He asked if he would be invited to the wedding. I said yes of course, all the while knowing he wouldn't be. Then we begin saying hurtful things to each other. Him saying I didn't give him a chance, me saying I waited four years. Back and forth we went for about an hour, neither really wanting to end the call.

He can give you more

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