by Margi Bettelyoun

Created on: August 31, 2009

Down Here in the Rut

I live in a rut. It's a nice, comfortable rut - but it is still a rut. I go to bed at 9:00. I get up at 4:30. I leave for work at 7:15. I open my office at 8:00. I close my office at 4:30. I arrive home at 5:15. By 9:00, I am back in bed. Didn't I tell you I live in a rut?

Long before I got in this rut, I wrote. I still write. Writing is part of who I am. Mostly I write essays; because for some reason, I gather a lot of opinions down here in the rut. Is it because I don't have any other life or am I just talking to myself - on paper? Whatever the reason, I love to write. I love to write so the reader will laugh, cry, think, or all three. The only problem is that there are not too many readers down here in my rut. So I just write to make myself laugh, cry, or think, or all three. After a while I got sick of myself, so I decided to learn more about the art of writing. I scoured the Internet looking for and buying books about writing. I found treasures in Elizabeth Berg, Anne Lamont, and Margaret Atwood. I read voraciously and studied what I read. I learned to grab phrases, listen to the play of words, I studied lines spoken in movies, tv shows, and WalMart. I was learning and writing but I wanted more. I wanted to learn so much more and I wanted honest, objective opinions on my writing. I knew that was not going to be found in my rut.

I considered on line classes, but that would not take me out of my rut. So I decided I would summon my courage, dust it off, and enroll in a college class. I am 59 years old but I am not close to infirmity or death. My desire to write was my lifeline that I used to climb up out of my rut and enroll in English 103 because that is where I can learn and write more essays. It is also a stepping stone to more creative writing classes.

I wasn't too worried about my future classmates or instructor. I did have 56 years to develop a thick skin. I wanted to learn to write better so bad that I didn't care. When you do decide to climb up out of a rut you can go two different ways: 1) Be so afraid that you cant function and let the fear pull you back in the rut. 2) Don't give #%@* and charge ahead. I chose the latter.

So here I was; up out of my rut inhaling fresh air and perspectives. The anticipation felt good. Nothing could stop me now! I was all set! I wrote the check and didn't worry about the amount - I wanted to write!

I knew in advance that my instructor would be objective with no preconceived notions about

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>