Of all the interviews I have done, none have topped Becky (named changed to protect the innocent or dumb). Our Office Assistant requirements were quite basic, answer phones, type documents, and use spreadsheets.

When Becky arrived for her appointment, she was well dressed and pleasant but smelled of cigarette smoke and loud perfume. We sat her down at the computer to do the word processing and spreadsheet tests. About five minutes past and she walked in to ask how to start the program. I helped her get started.

About 30 minutes later she walked down the hall. My assistant and I looked at each other, but then heard her coming back up the hall with one of our co-workers, Susan. We waited until our co-worker returned to her office to ask what that was about. She told us that Becky said she had never used Excel before and didn't know what to do and asked Susan to come show her how to complete the test.

At this point we are wondering if we send her home or what. We allowed her to complete the tests which most applicants finished in about 20 minutes, she took a little over an hour. We asked her to wait in the lobby while we reviewed the tests.

Around this time our boss returned from a meeting. Upon opening her office door, her Maltese Alexia, barked excitedly. Becky jumped up from her seat, ran into the boss's office and began saying how much she loved animals. She remained in there playing with the dog another 15 minutes. Our boss later said she didn't know what to do with this stranger coming in her office and grabbing her dog up.

We decided to go ahead and meet with her just to see what would happen next. Although she did well on the standard questions, we questioned her computer skills. Becky advised she used a computer before but just at the store where she worked but that was all. She continued by telling us they didn't give her enough hours to pay her bills, so she's been borrowing money. Then she said her teenage son so worried about his momma. He told her to come to this interview and tell us that we just had to hire her so they could move out of her sister's house.

We explained we were doing the initial interviews and would give all the information to our manager who would then make the decision of who to call in for a second interview. We asked if she had any more questions. In reply, Becky banged her fists multiple times on the desk and shouted "I need this job, give me this job." Then she laughed.

We assured her we would give this information to our manager and appreciated her time. As soon as she left, my assistant and I stared at each other for a few minutes not knowing what to say. I then took Becky's resume and test results and promptly shredded them.

Learn more about this author, Martha Adams.
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