by Sue Ann Teo

Created on: August 31, 2009

People said the greatest thing in this world is to love and being loved in return. How poisonous are those words. Because of such ideology how many people have hurt themselves, become unrecognizable just to pursue for such great love.

Having to love someone that you should not love to begin with, you will find yourself all too often caught in the abyss of darkness. No matter how hard you open my eyes, you still could not see yourself; you wave your hand in front of you, nothing. You try to look harder, an eternity of blackness.

For me, love, is when you are in a situation that nobody can understand. For my situation, for example, people from outside looking in can always tell it is hard, but you have to pull yourself out of it. But they do not understand how love has stabbed me like a blade. Painful, unbearable, makes me weak and paralyzed. But to pull it out, it will only make the pain worst, the blood will ooze out from the wound, excruciating, how can one understand that ache without having to experience it right there and then? The helplessness, which I still find it hard to describe.

Love is just like a heroine. Once you take it, you will be lost yourself in the 'heaven'. It makes you believe that you are flying, so high up in the sky and looking down to the filthy world under your feet. It can make you feel like an angel. But when you are awakening from such fascinating dream, you will find yourself doomed down under the filthy world that you thought you no longer have to come back. You body feel like being stabbed with hundreds of knives. You will be on your knees, your arms are numb and you find yourself running out of breath. That is love.

Love will do nothing but merely act like a blade, slicing away your time, freedom and personal space for others. Only if you are lucky, the person that you give your love to might appreciate it, but if you are not, which are happening to most of the people, you are not just slicing away your time, freedom and personal space, but also your heart, soul and your body. You will no longer be whole again. The food will no longer taste the same; you will no longer be able to smile. Nothing else will worth your effort.

No one can help you, when you are in the midst of love. No physicians can cure your wound, no medicines can ease your pain, and no psychologists can divert your thoughts. You are on your own. Only you can cure yourself, ease the pain and shift your thoughts, and make yourself whole again.

To walk out of such love situation, to go beyond that abyss of darkness, there is a mile of sizzling red charcoal, and another mile of sharp blades. You will hurt yourself, you will fell. But only you can bring yourself up again and continue walking. And when you have finally reached to the nirvana, you will have the victory, which only you alone deserve to enjoy, and only you alone can taste the sweetness of the achievement that you have overcome. Then, you will find yourself on top of the world.

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