by Pedro Vazquez

Created on: August 30, 2009

I came across this topic and thought to myself, now here's something I can talk about. I am a mother of three teenagers. A year ago I started dating a man who has a 3 year old son. I have to admit I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would ever be someone's step-mom. At first it took me some getting use to, I mean my oldest is 15 years old. It's not to say I forgot how to handle a toddler, but I forgot how hard it can be. And I have to admit raising a step child can be more challenging then raising your own. It requires a lot of time and patience. I mean at first I didn't know what to do. I felt as though if I instill in this child everything I instill in my children would his dad agree with my methods of raising his son. But, slowly I've come to understand my step sons likes and dislikes. I believe no matter how old a child is the one thing you have to teach him is to always have respect for you and others .For example, when I feel I have to scold him because of something he has done that I don't agree with, I kneel down next to him and make him understand what he did wrong. And though I'm being firm with him and I put on a stronger tone of voice when doing so, I found out it's ok he still loves me just the same. I find the one mistake we make as step parents when we first meet a child, is , we quickly run out and buy the child something just to try and get that one foot in the door. I think that's a big mistake, believe it or not children can spot a fake person a mile away.So don't try so hard the child will come around. Another thing to remember is that this isn't just new for you, it's something new for the child as well. After all this child is looking at you as a stranger too. Like I said you have to be patient it's gonna take a little time before you both understand each other and get use to being in each others life. Trust me once you get use to the child and he is in your life everyday, the rest comes naturally.

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