by Grace Araujo Kolman

Created on: August 29, 2009   Last Updated: August 30, 2009

There is a reason why we have friends and enemies placed together in the same family, sometimes under the same roof. I believe in Life as a School for emotionally impaired people. And here we are, bringing up a child who hates us. Or maybe being this child who hates her or his mother or father. Why? I have asked myself over and over again.

First I believe that we are together as family for a reason; not by accident or destiny. I suppose we need to learn how to reconcile or differences in order to be prepared and trained to face the tough world on the outside. And, yes, there is not a better place to learn than in our own family. The lessons are hard, painful, but last forever.

Although anger suggests a negative feeling, I do believe in positive anger. It can also be a symptom of a broken heart, a result of a traumatic experience in the past, or just a lack of communication between family members. Perhaps I am not sure about why I feel so angry at somebody, but I am sure it didn't happen abruptly. Something was planted and grew like a weed. It can be removed, but if it is there for some time, it will be very difficult to do so.

Anger may become a powerful way of change. Some people are angry enough to get a better job. Some are anger enough to end a bitter relationship and start over again. But how to deal with anger, when it is affecting your personal life and involves the ones you are believed to love?

It happened to me. And here is what I did to deal with this terrible problem; therefore I want to share my successful experience with you.

Open you heart. Ask yourself how things turned out to be sour. Be honest and humble. You will be amazed on how much things you will learn about yourself and the way to relate to others. You may want to take some time before going to the next step.

Apologize. Even if you don't feel you should. You will probably surprise the person you are having trouble with, and this surprising element you change your bond forever. If are really looking for peace, bring the peace to your heart first.

Hug. Hug like a big bear. Hug like there is no tomorrow. Hug like it is the last time you are hugging her, or him. This powerful deed is miraculous and absolute. You will see an entire different world before your eyes. It worked for me. I am sure it will work for you. My God be with you and your family. Believe!

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