by Ariel Stephens

Created on: August 28, 2009

Some people believe being in the company of a pregnant woman gives them license to comment on or to her. Maybe they want to chit chat. Maybe they secretly want to compare situations. Maybe they really are interested. Maybe not.

"Wow, look at you!" someone said to me. Nearly six months along I was in my second pair of maternity pants and could no longer locate my toes. "You are HUGE!"

With hormones flowing madly underneath my skin I managed to kept my cool, but how did they want me to respond? "And only getting bigger! Hip, hip hooray!" Is this a considerable way to initiate conversation? Because now I don't feel like talking to you.

However, prior to my pregnancy I was this person. I honestly believed ladies wanted to hear, "You look tired," "Whoa big belly!" or the worst "How much weight have you gained?" And touching the hard, baby bump was like coming in contact with something forbidden to touch. I was awed. My intentions were merely friendly, why would I want to anger a pregnant woman? Until my little guy began expanding my tummy did I realize they may not want to hear it and hands off the belly please. Pregnant women are usually stressed out. Between daily practicalities of job, housework and family we now have to tackle nausea, aches and pains, nesting, fitting in doctors appointments, exhaustion, thinking about the baby's health, missing our 'real' jeans and handling comments and glares of strangers and yes, family members.

A few times an improper comment would surface and it was hard not to shoot back. Eventually I realized pregnancy comments are a phenomenon that's not going away. Pregnant women carry life, life intrigues people. Or they are being nosy. Whatever the intention, we can take it gracefully because that's what pregnant women do everyday. Even when we're shoving down a bacon cheeseburger and chili cheese fries at lighting speed. With all the stress, it's all we can do to maintain sanity! If someone hurts your feelings, it's OK to speak up. But you never know, you might snap at someone who really was just being friendly.

However dear commentators, before opening your mouth lecturing the starving pregnant lady on why she should choose salad over that bacon cheeseburger, please consider the pregnant woman's situation. Maybe she's treating herself today. Besides, when you're stressed out do you want someone on your case? And just because she may take the comment gracefully, doesn't mean it needs to be said. Examine your intentions. This is her pregnancy journey, unfolding moments and discoveries that are completely unique. And it's not a community belly, rubbing it won't bring good luck.

Maybe she is huge. But she's probably looks great. And that's all she wants to hear.

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