by Jerry Williams

Created on: August 28, 2009   Last Updated: August 29, 2009

I enjoy titillation as much as the next person, and likely more so. Just a click or two away is your local Craigslist message board, which can dilate the ol' pupils if you stray onto some of the seamy side-streets. Therein lays (not lies) my tale.

I was on an adults-only byway where I saw a classified ad for a train in the town where I live. A train, you say? I was pretty sure I knew what that meant, but I clicked the heading to be certain. Indeed, the posting described a train as I understood one to be: a woman was planning to have sexual relations with multiple guys, one after another. More to the point, the message was placed by the woman's husband, requesting men to come to the train.

The ad said the train was scheduled for April 1 at 11:00 p.m. Okay, April Fool's Day. Then I got it: the dude was pulling some kind of practical joke on his wife. I figured he was hoping to generate a bunch of lascivious e-mails for the little woman's inbox.

I'm a cooperative sort, so I clicked the reply link and typed, I'm there, baby.

A few days later I received an e-mail titled, Train on 4/1. Train? You mean THAT train? I wasn't even sure whether I should open the mail, but I have dependable virus protection.

- Rules of the train -

Incredibly so, the long e-mail composed by the husband (in rather spotty grammar,) listed detailed rules for the event. The graphic nature disturbed me, yet I also found it compelling.

Above all, the rules stressed that participants would observe safe sex. The guy's wife, Jen, would select the position, with nothing too exotic depicted. Last of all, the boxcars must be willing to be videotaped during the frolics, and EVERYONE ELSE IN ATTENDANCE WOULD BE WATCHING IN THE OTHER ROOM.

The notion of being in an assembly line of men fornicating with another guy's wife gave me serious pause, as it should. Pair that with the idea of being taped doing it while a roomful of people watched, and I got a serious case of the no-no-nos.

Enough already. No sane person would do this kind of thing. Dumbfounded, I dropped my pretense of willingness and typed a reply:

"Hi -

"I'm the last person who would judge anyone, but you don't seriously mean that guys are going to actually come to your train, do you? Most of all, who could do that while other people watched?"

The woman's husband, Paul, got back to me the next evening:

"You would be suprised. We have done this before. Most guys dont think the camera is a big deal. If you dont want to be in the train you should

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