by Jerome Espinosa Baladad

Created on: August 28, 2009   Last Updated: November 06, 2011

This writer has been asked on many occasions by a few of his girl-friends on how they would know if someone from their boyfriends is gay. This writer would usually have reservations on giving straight answers to this question as there are actually very diverse signs that could pinpoint THAT clearly if an unmarried man is gay. 'Diverse,' as there are many kinds of straight people as well. Most of these tips can be weighed differently by each woman depending on how deeply she knows the person behind the man she is involved with now. 

1) If they are behaving like they are angry or scared of gay people, strong chances are, they are gay themselves (or could still be hiding in the closet, and so very scared to be found out!).

This is called homophobia, and there are varieties of this behavior. Even gay people themselves have the so-called 'internalized homophobia,' which is largely characterized by a large scale, downright dislike of one's self for being gay. And the most outrageous but subtle way of expressing this is by getting unknowingly scared or angry toward other gay people, especially those who are out and comfortable with themselves. It is a way of projecting what you do not like with yourself, and inevitably, this internalized homophobia happens.

2) There are signs of extreme behaviors you observe from your boyfriend that you think he pays more homage to the male form than to the female form, as in 'special preference.'

For example, he would go out of extreme lengths just to make himself look the most fit-looking in his group, or the one who wears the fanciest hairstyle complete with colors or highlights, or the one who wears the latest in fashion (or a variation of these behaviors). Some fashionistas and fashion editors call them 'metrosexual,' which is a straight people's way of making something 'gay' acceptable to their own way of looking at things. And still, this is just a way of reflecting in a more positive way what is considered negatively by most straight people who do not want to be bothered by issues relating to gay people.

3) You are gradually finding out that your boyfriend is too daring for comfort, mainly just to get attention.

And he complicates this by doing all these daring activities mainly to overcome his need to compete as if it does not matter if he has already been hurting himself in the process. There could be personal issues in himself that he has been trying to resolve and overcome. One most probable reason could be his

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