by TonyV.

Created on: February 10, 2007   Last Updated: May 16, 2007

'My Middle Sister'

Listen to the sounds of a family picnic
Maybe, but I can't see them, only hear.
I can see a very dense wooded area
On the other side I know they're together
Voices, a light breeze, a slight haze
The park, the beach, I'm not sure, but
I wanna be there with them, but they're
On the other side of the trees, how can I arrive ?
All of a sudden, I'm indoors and standing in front of me

is My Middle Sister, who's been gone for over 30 years.
She was 21, 22, now she's a little girl of 8, 10 maybe.
She's happy, I can't believe it, she's beaming, wow !
Annette was not a happy girl, I didn't help either
I was extremely disobedient, being the youngest and a boy.
She was only 2 years older than me, I didn't have to mind her.
Did I ?
Her dress looked new, all ready to go to a party or something.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her, she made me happy too.
We never did get along, I always regretted not telling her how
much I loved and cared for her.
She took after my dad, she had to live in the shadow
of a beautiful, brilliant older sister; A younger, spoiled brother
as well. Once, I wanted to take all of our old 45 RPM's out and turn
them into frisby's. Noone listened to them anymore anyway. She
Didn't want me to, but I argued and I was going to win at any cost.
We yelled for a long time, I was 14, what did I care, no risk.
I had a bunch in my hands and I was getting angrier by the second.
I lost all thought of reason, I flung those babies right at her. I
never thought, oh man, they hit her right in the face. I freaked, I ran.
I didn't go home for a long time. My mom and dad divorced, my oldest
sister was married with baby already. Man, was I in deep now. I went home
brazen as can be, she was all black & blue all over her face. I wanted to cry,
I was a boy, I couldn't show weakness. Not to my sister, not to a GIRL !
I wanted to hug her and tell her I was sorry. I couldn't take
responsibility for that, I wouldn't, I didn't have to. My mom actually stuck
up for me. She was way wrong, my sister didn't didn't deserve that, noone did.
There she was in her party dress, waiting to take me, WHERE ?
All I know is she loved me, she forgave me, she wanted me to go with her.
She was greeting me, just standing there, swaying from side to side, lovely. Just
loving me, not caring or remembering about anything else, except she
wanted me to be , to go with her. Man, that's love, that's a sister.
I know now, people always talk about seeing your siblings, family
when you die and enter heaven, you always see friends and family you know ?
I know Annette was telling me, she is going to be the first one I see,
that I recognize when it's my time.
She forgives me, she loves me, even after all the mean things I did to her.
She's in heaven, awaiting to take me to that great family gathering. Sometimes
I can't wait. The anticipation is overwhelming, yet I don't want to die.
It's comforting though to know, My Middle Sister is waiting,
has even asked or been granted the privilege to be the first, to
comfort my fearful, beating heart, as I enter eternity.
She knows I've always been scared of dying. I gotta tell you
this has comforted me, so much. I miss her, I'm forgiven.

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