by Anthony Megna

Created on: August 27, 2009   Last Updated: February 10, 2012

Gee, I can't wait to go to the dentist! Today is the day...The day for anxiety and pain! While you wait in the reception room, and wait and wait until it's your turn for the agony chair, you begin to sweat. You try to think of almost any other subject than dentistry, and if you practice you just might succeed......until...wait, what's that sound? RRRRRR! RRRRRRRRRR! That frigging drill!

Okay, so I'm not alone in my fears. Have you met anyone that really enjoys going to the dentist? I mean really? Who could possibly like having someones fingers in their mouth? Unless you're involved in some wild sexual fantasy, then whomever likes the dentist is a very, very, sick person.

I love when you get that dentist that wants to carry on a conversation with you, as you sit there with what feels like a complete automotive shop in your mouth. No really, you have that saliva sucker hanging out slurping up your blood and flecks of tooth. You've got that other contraption that feels like a "69" Caddy bumper to keep your mouth open. Plus all those other hanging things which you've got no idea what they are that the dental assistant is trying to cram into your orifice. Now your dentist wants to know what you think of the economy. Try answering that! I did once, and most everything fell out. My dentist has been curiously quiet ever since.

Probably the worst thing of going to the dentist is the fear of what he'll find. "Oh, no problem, you've just got thirteen cavities, a busted crown, and you'll need a root canal or you'll abscess soon on that tooth. So, what are you doing this weekend"? It's not only the pain involved in your mouth, it's the pain in your wallet that always seems to take the biggest hit. Cripes!

So now the latest thing is the sedation dentist. This is where they put you to sleep, you wake up and it's all over. You never feel a thing, and believe me, it's fantastic. "Four grand for one tooth"! What? I know it's painful, but I'm going to have to take out a loan, and nobody is loaning money these days! So much for the sedation dentist.

What's to be done about going to the dentist? Well, the dental team means it when they say "Make sure you floss" for one thing. What else can be done? You could get a root canal on every tooth, and this way you'll never feel the pain again. In fact, your teeth could fall out as you munch on your next jellybean and you could care less....

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