by Lisa Moeller

Created on: August 27, 2009

The Broken Toe Effect

So there you are, dwelling in possibility, making lists of the things for which you are grateful, letting go of the past, believing in your dreams, loving yourself to the best of your ability, loving others even better, attracting abundance, choosing joy, focusing on the positives, submitting to your higher power, accepting the things you can't change, yada yada yada. You strive to focus on all the good in your life, because, yes, you really, really could have it so much worse. You know that. You accept that. And the knowledge and acceptance of that relieves you to a degree.

But there's this one thing. This one areaof your life that you just cannot wrestle into submission. Even though everything else in your life is fabuloso, this one thing overshadows it all. I call it the broken-toe effect.

You know how you can be in the best of moods, feeling healthy and light, everything is under control, laughter comes easily and you are nearly dancing through life? You feel good all over. Until you cut the corner too close and your big toe collides with the dresser leg. Or the corner of a wall. Yeah, then it's all over. What do you feel now? The throbbing pain that takes all of your attention. (Insert deity here)! That hurts! Is it broken?! Now, even though everything else, in fact, is perfectly fine, all you can think about is that stupid toe. And if it is broken, you're gonna think about it for some time to come, trust me. Have you ever noticed that once you break your toe, it gets hit over and over and over, bringing the pain level up to intolerable again?

A broken toe could be anything for any of us. An addiction, a phobia, an illness, a loss, a lack, a chronically unmet need, a family secret, a past or present betrayal. It's a shame that all the positives in the world can't outweigh one or a couple of negatives, just as an otherwise healthy and happy body can't cancel out the pain of a broken toe? Why is that?

Is it our ideology that sets us up for this experience? Is it our unquenchable desire for a perfect life? A perfect mate? A perfect state of mind? How does one overcome the persistent pain of a broken toe? In a world full of negatives, what makes this one so special?

I'm no therapist, but here's what I'm thinking: I venture to say that most negatives in life aren't that impacting or lasting or without resolution, but some are, or seem to be. Some negatives are on the fringe of life, while some are at the core of your being. Some inconvenience

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>